Journal Entry for November 18, 2009
November 18, 2009 8:28am
My scale tricked me this morning. It said 146 but at the last second switched to 148.6....grrr.
Progress
0 %
Current Weight (Lbs)
148.6
BeccBecc
1:31pm Thursday
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About Me
BeccBecc
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Recent Activity
Recently:
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3 hugs received, 3 hugs given, 1 discussion post
Yesterday
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BeccBecc wrote a discussion post in the Multiple Personalities support group: Stopped takin my meds.... 9:35pm
I'm such a mess now. I'm sorry if this doesn't make any sense. I stopped taking my meds by accident yesterday…
Thursday
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BeccBecc updated their status 1:31pm
I'm perfectly flawed. I'm perfectly incomplete.…
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BeccBecc gave Slimpics a 'you're welcome' 1:03pm
You're very welcome. Please don't let yourself fall into your ED ways, fight them! I'm seeing my therapist…
Wednesday
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BeccBecc updated their status 11:54am
My weight, my face, my height, my race, I'm a mistake.…
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Journal
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I want to be back 2 years
November 15, 2009 3:12pm
I know this is the complete opposite of what I was saying perviously.
Anyway. I want to go back to my old self. I want to go back 2 years. I …
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Day 7
June 29, 2009 11:56am
Well, gained weight...like...what is up with that? Anyway, have to go shopping for food today...also planned out what to eat and it totals up to 810. …
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Day 6
June 28, 2009 1:41pm
No surprise that I gained weight as I binged yesterday and got up to 1790 calories...yuck.
Doing better today, a bit discouraged with this …
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Hugbook
Little Love
To add to your status... You will always be most beautiful when you are yourself.
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I’m With You
That YOU so, so much:)
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I’m With You
...just because I understand where you're at right now.
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Hug
I am going to worry about you, because you are a good person who deserves to be worried about when you are not well.
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Hug
Sorry that was, if the people who you're trying to tell that you're hurting and struggling don't listen, you need to go to someone else. I'm so worried about you and others I can't type right.
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Photos
BeccBecc hasn’t uploaded any photos yet
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Goals
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Support Groups
Close Brain Injury
I suffered a mild TBI in Dec. of 2005. I have since been through hell. Severe mood disorder, development of a personality disorder, self injury in the form of cutting episodes, anorexia and bulimia, social anxiety, and alot of physical symptoms. I only wish to gain support through my continued journey of recovery and to help others who also suffer.
Treatments
Close Depression
Type: Clinical (Major) DepressionI have suffered from mild depressive episodes since about 13. I experienced my first severe depressive episode following a traumatic brain injury. Since then I have been in recurrent states of depressive episdoes mostly in the moderate to severe catagories.
Treatments
- Geodon Not Working
- Gave me physical anxiety and gave my hands "hot flashes".
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- Wouldn't be alive without this!
- Seroquel Working / Worked
- Worked to stablize mood, side effect was weight gain.
- Support from Friends & Family Somewhat Helpful
- Sometimes they understand, most times they don't.
- Zoloft Working / Worked
- This was horrible, horrible med! Attempted suicide because of this!
- Tramadol Working / Worked
- Even though its a painkiller it worked alot for my depression. Didnt cure it but helped space apart the depressive episodes.
Open Self-Injury
I started self harming in October of 2006. I have been through good patches and bad patches. However, I have only made it around 2 months with self harming ever since Oct. '06.
Treatments
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- Emergency appointments helped control some urges during times of 'recovery'.
- Red Marker Somewhat Helpful
- I used to get very detailed with this, so much so that it look real and that's what I wanted. It lasted for days because I used permanent marker, sometimes it helped sometimes it triggered.
- Talking Somewhat Helpful
- Sometimes this got triggering especially when talking to someone who had the attitude "oh I dare you to do it".
Open Personality Disorders
Type: Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)Ever since my traumatic brain injury I have developed Borderline Personality Disorder. I self injure, have multiple suicidal ideations, ruin relationships, all or nothing thinking, etc etc.
Treatments
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- This is my lifeline.
Open Eating Disorders
Type: BulimiaI go through both phases of purging and non-purging bulimic. Have been eating disordered since 2006. Started regularly bingeing and starving myself in early 2007 and started purging in late 2007. Go through periods of recovery. Have swung from 160 to 112 to 150 in 2 years.
Treatments
- Dietitian Consult Somewhat Helpful
- Good for periods of recovery, if not dedicated to recovery it's pretty much useless.
- Outpatient Treatment Program Somewhat Helpful
- This is minimally helpful. I mean, yes, it's gotten me through some rough times but there is certainly no "miracle cure" with this.
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- Lifeline when depression hits. Also helps putting throughts in order and perspective.
Open Multiple Personalities
I need serious support!
Open Diets & Weight Maintenance
Treatments
- Counting Calories Working / Worked
- Worked and still do this.
- Eating Healthier Foods Working / Worked
- Became vegetarian!
- Eat Less Working / Worked
- It works when I can control myself.
