raindrop512

About Me

I am a 50 year old woman who has lost everything in the last few years. I always had periods of illness, such as autoimmune, but they were temporary. One illness led me to lose my San Diego Condo, 20 yrs ago, which now is worth a lot more money. I had mold illness, mononucleosis, pleurisy, and have always had issues with my muscles. I was a runner for 30 years and a hiker. Always liked to be athletic but I was not talented. Since 1984 I was an RN, always a dedicated performer. Became a nurse practitioner in 1997 in Family Practice from UCLA. I always wanted to be a wife and mother. But old fashioned believed in "love". Only two men I loved, and they did not wish to marry. Others that wanted to marry I was not in love. 5 years ago, was about to adopt when I got chronically ill. This time it did not go away, but for 3 yrs my sx improved, and I got a quality of life back. What happened was this: I had a "minor" car accident, and a bad job, no money, or support, bad boyfriend (after moving from California to Washington to get to know the boyfriend better). Woke up 3 weeks later after the minor car accident, in which I tweaked my neck and back, and could not walk on my feet. Being a runner for 30 yrs, that gave me endorphins and relieved all my stress, this was a nightmare. After 2 mos started to fall into a deep depression as I cannot take anti depressants, I get severe symptoms of multiple sclerosis with them. They do not help my depression. I hated pain meds but after 2 yrs of being bedridden, started on some pain meds and was able to get a life back. I worked, laughed...took care of my dad with lung cancer (2006) until his death. Took care of my 9 year old soul mate dog until she got cancer 2 mos ago and died. Took care of my mom who had a stroke, and she wanted to stay in her apartment in California, while I was in Oregon. My two sisters have not liked me, and did not help me with either parent. Ran my own practice and took care of patients, none of which was as sick as me. Then a month ago, a year after starting my own practice which was going well,except the very stressful time of learning how to get the right staff, my sisters decided to "do an intervention". They whisked me away to a rehab, (they did not have my best interest at heart, they hated me), even though I had severe chronic pain in my feet and fibromyalgia, mostly in back, arms and thighs. I had now developed migraines this year. Some people have severe chronic pain, (my mom does and would die if they did that to her) Very severe, with 4 er visits, and recently I have had a headache every day for 5 weeks. I also am allergic to any serotonin agonists, and this includes imitrex, maxalt, zomig, etc. Allergic to all migraine meds or medications that work on the serotonin mechanism, especially anti depressants. I get sick, and twitchy and drowsy. Well, after the doctors made huge changes in the meds that were working so well just two mos ago, ( I worked every day, had energy, etc), I developed muscle twitches, drowsiness, weakness. I lost my nursing license due to this illness and being reported at the rehab, because I looked so ill when not on meds and could not get out of bed. My sisters were happy and left and went back to live their lives. They loved that they destroyed me. The bible says that sisters and family members will do this to each other. I cannot believe why they could not be my advocate. My beloved dog has died. I am very depressed due to the fatigue. I have severe pain in my feet, and I wish I was an alcoholic. Then I would go to a program to be cured but I have this guilt society gave me,and now because of what they did to me, I do not feel normal. I feel very sick, and I was feeling so good on the pain meds, but when I went off them I had to be put back on them in a few days, now that it has been 5 weeks, they dont work the same anymore. I only have a few, and maybe that it the reason. I just cannot take the heavy limbs, the twitches and not walking straight, not keeping my eyes open. I pray and pray... Does anyone know about suboxone? That is what started the med reactions? raindrop512

I am a 50 year old woman who has lost everything in the last few years. I always had periods of illness, such as autoimmune, but they were temporary. One illness led me to lose my San Diego Condo, 20 yrs ago, which now is worth a lot more money. I had mold illness, mononucleosis, pleurisy, and have always had issues with my muscles. I was a runner for 30 years and a hiker. Always liked to be athletic but I was not talented. Since 1984 I was an RN, always a dedicated performer. Became a nurse practitioner