dragonfyre's Journal

I was watching tv this morning and they were talking about people who dispite huge medical odds carried on, even spent their time helping others with foundations and being an inspiration to others about how they are overcoming and the great role models they are for not allowing disabling and life changing illnesses or accidents ruin their lives. Then I look at my own life in that perspective and I feel like such a looser, a wimp even. I have had my illness for so long and it has taken so much from me and I feel like I have just given up on life.

The Dragon Lady helps a lot but that doesn't change my basic attutide.  My illness doesn't really show unless you know what to look for. For years I wouldn't even use the handicap parking because I didn't feel I deserved it or because I didn't look like I needed it. I  just feel there is so much that I "could" have done but didn't. Instead I just gave up on myself, on life in general. For years (before the dragon lady) I was basically just waiting to die. Not good, not the right attitude.  I know it's wrong but it's a hard thing to break out of. I am trying though for whatever it's worth.