dragonfyre's Journal

Things are a bit of a mess, more so then usual. Woke up this morning in tears. The Dragon Lady has been having some problems lately and I feel like I have let her down in a huge way. I'm not sure why or how but I know that I have. She tries to hide it from me, to take the blame for my tears but I know better. I have been a huge disappointment to her in so many ways but I will keep trying so long as I am allowed to and I know that even if she broke it off I would still be there for her to help in any way possible. Needless to say I was terribly embarresed for crying. Afterall, Dragons are supposed to be strong. Although puff the magic dragon is a very sad song and he gave up. I can deal with the sadness but I won't give up or forget ever.

Lately I have been somewhat concerned about my health. I seem to have lost my sense of balance. My bloodpressure is a touch hight from time to time but my pulse is terribly low. If it's in the mid 50's then I must be excited for it to be so high. Usually it's in mid 40's, I know it's silly but has a heart ever just stopped on it's own, perhaps from lack of interest or a reason to keep working? Weird thought. Things will be what they will be anyway. At least no new clots, just lots of symptoms and what not.

I will perservere however.