lvgargoyles's Journal

I always grew up not knowing my condition and why I always had such hard time learning.

Recently I found out why I was in SE all through school.  They would do testing but never told my parents what I had.  My son had neuro testing done. And every way that he learns, takes it in and perceives it, understands, brings it back out.  Is the exact way I have always been battling.  Let a lone many other neuro problems we both have.  I never learned what I have and how do deal with it daily, now Im just making friends and learning how to say the right things as well.  My son and I have a learning disability, but I know we both are Aspergers.  The more I read the more I know myself.

I just been feeling so alone, and sad for me and my son for his future in school and life period.  I just realized that Im hurt inside with all of this and trying to keep it together for my other kids....

My hubby just told me he was diagnosed Bipolar years ago..I remember him telling me about it but no details...thought it was something he got over.  He will not take anything, but it explains a lot of what he was doing to me..his behaviors...but he never had the real bad downs since we been together...years before we met, he did try many times to kill himself, and drug problems, since I been reading on BP last year..a friend is one and didn't know what it was...I understand him better...and looked past it all when I met him, after going through a lot that my hubby was with someone else..I found out years later...he changed for the better.

Now I finally realized that I've been sad lately that I feel unwanted and unloved...like no one never bothers with me...I felt unwanted and everything else died inside of me, its the feeling of being wanted is what Ive been looking for. feeling unwanted is the worst for me...I love myself..to feel wanted is a total different feeling...