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dragonlady66 
1:12am Friday
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About Me
dragonlady66
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About Me
I am 43 years and was sexually abused from the time I was about 3 years old until about 13. My father was also an emotionally and physically abusive alcoholic There were 3 perpetrators in my life, at different times, two of whom were blood relatives. I was also emotionally and sexually abused in my marriage. The damn guy continued to terrorize me for about 14 years after our divorce. I have received many different diagnoses over the years but what does it matter whether they are correct or not because it all stems from the same bloody thing. Abuse messes a person in so many ways. Besides I think psychiatry is more than 50% guess work anyway. A lot of times they simply go by what the clients are telling them. Nobody really knows but I actually used to think about suicide on a daily basis. After joining this group and deciding to take a serious shot at recovery I am doing much better. I also have a congenital physical disorder called lymphadeama which causes my leg or other appendages to be abnormally swollen. I have two young adult daughters and two granddaughters ages 2 and 3 years old. I found this website while doing a search for information on night terrors. I feel comfortable chatting with people in these forums because I know they can understand what I am experiencing.
I am 43 years and was sexually abused from the time I was about 3 years old until about 13. My father was also an emotionally and physically abusive alcoholic There were 3 perpetrators in my life, at different times, two of whom were blood relatives. I was also emotionally and sexually abused in my marriage. The damn guy continued to terrorize me for about 14 years after our divorce. I have received many different diagnoses over the years but what does it matter whether they are correct or not because
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Interests
Alot of things are of interest to me. I enjoy writing, reading and listening to music. I sew or knit occasionally as well. I have been doing Ebay sales for the past 3 years and find that kind of fun. I just wish I had more time for it.
Alot of things are of interest to me. I enjoy writing, reading and listening to music. I sew or knit
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Recent Activity
Recently:
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9 photo uploads, 4 hugs received, 4 journal comments, 2 hugs given, 1 journal post
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Journal
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Hugbook
Thumbs Up
WOOHOO! HAPPY DANCE! It ain't easy, but you did it! You GO, Girl!!! Big hugs and a happy congratulations!
Flower
Thank you for the journal comment. It's been ages since I've caught up with you. How are you doing?
Hug
thanks for letting me know your still alive. Ya chest infections are NEVER fun, mine has turned into bronchitis but im on medication now. Im not at work until at least tuesday if not then thursday....booooo. I hope to talk to you soon, i miss chatting. And i hope that little red guy changes to at least yellow.
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Hug
Big hugs you! oxoxoxox
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Little Love
Miss you xox
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Photos
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Goals
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Support Groups
Close Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
i have complex PTSD related to sexual and emotional abuse that I experienced as a child and in my marriage. I had been to many psychiatrists, doctors and other professionals before I was given that diagnosis. Honestly, knowing what the problem is does not really make it any easier to deal with but I offered wondered why I just couldn't get my s**t together even after years of treatment and recovery. There have been too many treatment tools to list.
Close Sexual Abuse
I am a 43 year old sexual abuse survivor. I have been in recovery for about 20 years and I still don't feel okay a lot of the time. I am currently working as a mental health worker in a group home for young women who suffer from mental illness. I love the job, my coworkers are awesome and being around these ladies give me the strength/endurance I need to continue on in my own life.
Treatments
- Group Therapy Somewhat Helpful
- A lot of different personalities made it scary at times.
- Leave Not Working
- The effects stick around for a long time after the abuse ends.
- Music Working / Worked
- This has been a coping strategy for me even when the abuse was going on. When I am unsure of what is going on with me..sometimes l listen to music and lyrics jump out at me which explain the emotions etc...that I cannot put words to.
- Talking Working / Worked
- Talking is one of the most helpful treatments for me. I love to talk and having someone who understands makes everything so much better.
- \"The Courage To Heal\" Working / Worked
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- I did psychotherapy when I first started recovery 20 years ago. It was a great starting place and good while it lasted. It was expensive and short lived. The effects of the abuse are definitely not as short lived and at some point I decided I had to do it on my own.
- Effexor Working / Worked
- I starting taking this when I was 38 because I was going through a very bad phase and actively wanted to kill myself. The doctor started me off with 150 mg and gradually increased it to 475 mg per day. It worked quite well to relieve the symptoms I was experiencing but some of the luster went out of my life along with the symptoms. The side effects are really hard to deal with as well dry mouth perspiring profusely always tired. I went off of it on my own after about 1 year.
- Writing Working / Worked
- I have been told that I am a very gifted writer and it is so easy for me to say exactly what I mean when I put thoughts on paper. Sometimes when I try to speak about stuff none of it make sense to anyone but me. I have never directly written about the abuse I endured or the effects it has had on my life however about a year ago I started feeling pressed to do so.
- Xanax Somewhat Helpful
- It was a short lived treatment that I was given many years ago while I was in the hospital. it was a good treatment for what I was experiencing at the time.
Open Lymphedema
I have congenital lymphedema in one leg due to being born with no lymph nodes in my lower leg. It started to show when I was 13 but it took about six years before doctors figured out what it was. I eventually got diagnosed in Great Britain while I was living there. A lymphangiogram was done after which the doctor explained what the problem was. He then gave me a pair of compression stockings, told me there was nothing else they could do and sent me on my merry way. Have never had any treatment.
Open Incest Survivors
I was sexually abused by my grandfather from the time I was about 4 until he died when I was 13. There was covert abuse by my father and possibly more. I have a vague memory of more.
Treatments
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- I did not stick with the therapy long enough for it to work. I recently went back to a counselor because the flashbacks were getting so bad and I was having very oddscary thoughts. The counselor will set me up with a trained trauma therapist when I am ready. Right now I just need to sort out some of the family dynamics stuff going on with my kids.
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Groups
