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Well, I am now one week into my 'life change' progress. I have lost two pounds, not too shabby a start considering it was on top of school finals. I already have been feeling more energetic and find that exercising and daily checks with the Obesity group and America on the Move keep me concious of what I am eating. It makes it easier to at least try to make smarter choices in my intake, even if I do binge. Its a lot less detrimental to binge on BLTs made of 35cal per strip Turkey bacon on whole wheat than it is to grab a burger.
However, I feel like I could do better without frustrating temptations from my mother. We live together and eat most of our meals together. This means that I've got to battle both my own impulses in eating bad, and her wants too. Its easy to cave when she offers trips to the local icecream shop or is ordering steak and baked potatoes while I stick with vinegerette salads and grilled chicken. Even tonight, we were talking about how amazing it is that sodas contain so much bad stuff. a single 20 oz bottle of rootbeer is 275 calories, and tons of carbs and sugar. It used to be that a large at a fast food place was 16 oz. now they are 32. oz. Within ten minutes of this discussion we had, she's handing me the rest of her 32 oz rootbeer because she doesn't want to finish it. That seems to me much like sticking a joint in the hands of recovering addict. Naturally I didn't say no, and am just shaking my head at myself as I suck down 200-300calories of carbonated goodness.
I just wish she was a bit more sensitive about temptation. Its not like she isn't supportive of my attempts, she thinks its good when I try to make an effort with it, but then turns around and suggests icecream or reminds me how rolls with honey butter bread at a restaurant, which I am abstaining from eating, is full of nutrients. Basically, giving me a way to talk myself out of why its bad for me or I don't need it on top of my meal. grrr.....
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It is really really hard to change eating habits when you live with someone who is still eating in the way that got us in the place we are in now!
My bf is also heavy, and his eating habits are even worse than mine! Just when I've got 2 or 3 days of low-carb, low-fat eating going...he'll bring home fresh warm donuts...or German Chocolate cake...or....you get the idea! No, he doesn't force me to eat them. But. I am weak sometimes! (I can either laugh or cry about this, so I guess I'll laugh!)
When I've been successful in the past, I've told the people I'm around that I just can't be exposed to certain foods for a while, and ask them not to partake around me. That seems like a lot to ask, but it is my health, not only my vanity at stake...
Sometimes people just want to sabotage us...they don't want us to change, because they'll either be jealous and feel bad, or they'll think they have to change as well, and they don't want to. Have any friends like that?
Have a great day tomorrow...and to borrow from the 12-step way of thinking.....just for today, I will live healthy.
truthseeker1
thanks for your great words and support :)
Yeah, I think my mom can be like that sometimes with the sabotage. Like today. I was working late and she was the only one out and able to grab us some dinner. I caved and agreed to a roast beef burger and fries from Arby's. I figured just a small fry, be bad for the night, because otherwise today I'd been really good. she comes home having bought me the large holy crap size. And of course I was too weak to say no or stop eating it, I think its against my nature to waste food. too many lectures from grandparents about third world starving children or life in the depression or something, I don't know.
So yeah. whether my mom was just trying to be nice and just forgot I've been dieting or whether she feels somehow guilty because she isn't, I dunno. but its frustrating as hell sometimes. I just have to take slow breaths and remind myself she loves me and that it won't be long before I'm living alone again in a health food conscious city
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