Journal

On Wednesday, the 29th, a dear friend passed away. Steve Miessner, the 'Keeper of the Oscars' as some called him, for his job at the Academy of Motion Pictures. He was also my mother's boyfriend.  Because of all this, his sudden passing has hit very close to home.

Steve  was a sweet man, a warm heart who gave his all to anyone who needed him. It reminds me of the old saying, "The brightest stars burn fastest". He was only 48 when he passed away suddenly of a massive heart failure.

 While all this has hit me emotionally, it also hits very close to home in terms of health. He was diagnosed with high blood pressure some time ago, but generally lived fit (albeit very stressed due to his job).

It makes me very scared for myself on a number of levels, having this sudden awareness of how fragile we are. Suddenly I'm very nervous over my mother's health, and very worried about my own future, being that I'm very overweight and yet am going into a similar high stress occupation. I suppose all I can do is atempt still to improve my health, bt it still feels like its no guarentee that will be enough. Steve was fairly fit, even if only 25 lbs overweight.

I guess right now, I'm just scared... 

Well, I am now one week into my 'life change' progress. I have lost two pounds, not too shabby a start considering it was on top of school finals. I already have been feeling more energetic and find that exercising and daily checks with the Obesity group and America on the Move keep me concious of what I am eating. It makes it easier to at least try to make smarter choices in my intake, even if I do binge. Its a lot less detrimental to binge on BLTs made of 35cal per strip Turkey bacon on whole wheat than it is to grab a burger.

However, I feel like I could do better without frustrating temptations from my mother. We live together and eat most of our meals together. This means that I've got to battle both my own impulses in eating bad, and her wants too. Its easy to cave when she offers trips to the local icecream shop or is ordering steak and baked potatoes while I stick with vinegerette salads and grilled chicken. Even tonight, we were talking about how amazing it is that sodas contain so much bad stuff. a single 20 oz bottle of rootbeer is 275 calories, and tons of carbs and sugar. It used to be that a large at a fast food place was 16 oz. now they are 32. oz. Within ten minutes of this discussion we had, she's handing me the rest of her 32 oz rootbeer because she doesn't want to finish it. That seems to me much like sticking a joint in the hands of recovering addict. Naturally I didn't say no, and am just shaking my head at myself as I suck down 200-300calories of carbonated goodness.

I just wish she was a bit more sensitive about temptation. Its not like she isn't supportive of my attempts, she thinks its good when I try to make an effort with it, but then turns around and suggests icecream or reminds me how rolls with honey butter bread at a restaurant, which I am abstaining from eating, is full of nutrients. Basically, giving me a way to talk myself out of why its bad for me or I don't need it on top of my meal. grrr..... 

Ok well I just started this program called America on the Move earlier this week. It basically has you use a step counter to check your daily progress, and gives you goal points in the guise of fun little 'trail' games that you achieve by reaching a certain step total over a length of time.

Well anyway, I had to start small. I haven't actively exercised in a long while and I have knee and back problems that make it hard to just pick up any exercise easily. So even though the goal was to reach 5,000 steps a day (roughly 2 to 3 miles depending on the distance of your gait) I started on tuesday with a simple test walk in my neighborhood for 2000 steps. I was sore as hell after, couldn't wait to get home, and was totally beat the next day.

 I started searching online for techniques in stretching, good walking habits, etc to see if I could improve this progress. 

God, I love the internet.

So today I decided to start this out right. I ate a good breakfast of turkey bacon with lettuce, tomato, and avocado on a whole grain bread, and I made sure I drank a bottle of water before I left (on top of the bottle I took with me).  I made a playlist of good, fast paced songs (its proven that this regulates your step pattern, heart rate, and breathing) and stretched before I left and when I got back.

I feel like a million bucks! 

I actually went over double what I achieved last time, 4,373 steps (apprx. 3 miles with my gait) and I still wanted to keep going! I actually had to convince myself to go home so that I didn't risk being too sore tomorrow.

I think this is a real testament to the fact that exercising smart, such as warming up, eating and drinking right before hand, good technique, etc, really does make a huge difference in what you can accomplish.  

P.S. anyone who is interested in the exercise technique sites I found, I'll be posting those in the recommendations section of the Obesity Support Group.