EmmyK's Journal

My heart hurts for many reasons.  Love is one of the most painful things anybody could ever experience.  It hurts so bad.  In so many ways.  I just would like to tell everybody; that even though you hear the bad things that happen with my relationships.  You dont always get to hear the good.  Cause sometimes when things are good..well people dont think to go write a journal entry.  Or atleast I dont.  So whatever I CHOSE TO DO FOR MYSELF about Glenn and I.  Is my choice.  I dont want to hear any negative things about what you think.  If its not something positive..well take your neagative thoughts somewhere else.  I dont know what will happen with Glenn and I.  He is currently on a trip with some friends and when he gets back we plan to sit down and talk about everything.  He did make some promises about this trip before he left.  Like he would call me and txt me and let me know what he was doing and how things were, he promised to stay faithful, not meet any other girls, and take time to think about us.  Overall, its been very hard.  Its been very hard to trust him.  Its been hard to not allow my mind to wander.  He gets back Saturday.  Its only Tuesday (in the very early hours of tuesday) so I still have a few hard days to get through.  He could have done things better since he has been gone.  But I do realize he is on a trip with his friends.  And he is there to get away.  So I'm trying to respect that.  Im trying to save any serious talks for when he comes back.  So please respect that.  I'm tired of people telling me...you need to leave him.  Well if thats what I wanted and thats what I thought was best.  WELL I WOULD! But I havent.  So get over it.  This isnt your life.  We arent together..we are working on things.  We both arent looking for anyone else.  We are working on us.  So please respect that. 

If you message me and I dont message you back.  Dont send me rude messages and complain.  Im not always strong either.  And sometimes I dont need to listen to other peoples problems. Sometimes I need to take care of myself.  I have other things to worry about.  I care about you all.  But sometimes people get so offended and I'm not trying to be rude.  I have to deal with my own emotions and feelings also.  This isnt meant to be rude.  But sometimes when people arent emotionally stable and neither am I.  Well I dont need to be around that.  It only brings me down more.  I dont want to give anyone bad advice when I'm in a bad spot.  So please respect that.  Some people on here get almost like stuck on talking to me everyday.  And I cant deal with that.  Its kinda creepy when you do that.  Especially when you are a male and a number of years older then me.  So just get the message..when I'm ready to talk I will.

So sorry if this journal entry offends you.  But I needed to say all of this.