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EmmyK 
12:45pm, November 3, 2009
Everything is really awful right now...
Everything....
People on DS are starting to be rude to me..and I cant deal with that.
I cant deal with people sending me messages saying im ugly and fat and asking how it was fucking my grandpa?? Seriously..I didnt have sex with him. I was raped. I didnt want it. I couldnt stop it. I had no control. Comments like that set me back in my healing. They make me second guess myself. And make me feel like like shit. And I dont wanna hear negative comments about how you think I look. I already have low self esstem and self worth. I would never ask anybody to fix that or to tell me 24/7 how beautiful I am. I dont want that. I also dont want or need to be called ugly. I already feel that way. How does it help me to tell me that? Again makes me feel like shit. I cant deal with this anymore. I cant deal with people. I try. But seems I try to be nice..try to help..and what I get back is just "emily, your worthless and ugly, everything is your fault, and the world doesnt want you here." I dont know what to do anymore. Im sick. And I hope I just pass on from this sickness. I cant take it anymore. THIS IS A SUPPORT WEBSITE...IF YOU DONT WANNA HELP YOURSELF AND OTHERS. DELETE YOUR ACCOUNT. IF YOU DONT WANNA BETTER YOURSELF; DONT TAKE IT OUT ON ME!!! GOSH! SEEMS LIKE NO MATTER WHERE I GO!! I ALWAYS FIND PEOPLE WHO HATE ME AND WISH ME THE WORST IN LIFE. I hate myself and want to give up.
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Emmy, if you still have those messages, I would recommend that you report those people to the DS administrators. It's against the rules to treat people this way, and you could get them kicked-off the site. You could help prevent those jerks from doing this to other girls. People like that really suck. They're trolls who are just out there trying to create trouble for people. They don't hate you....they hate people. Don't believe a word they say. You're gorgeous. I'd love to look like you. Regarding your grandpa.....you know the truth. Hang in there, love.....those people are crap. Stick with your friends.
KimChick
Hey you should report this person, they are not worth it, delete them and put them on ignore, ive suffered some abuse on here too Emily and the thing I learned was to stick with your friends, you know who your friends are. you are none of what he said, your are so right, i suffer too from lack of self esteem and very low self worth and like you i dont want people to say bad things to me but im not here only for people to say good things, keep strong, get rid of these negative people, cant believe someone would actually ask that. report the people, delete the people and put them on ignore and concentrate on your friends, here if you need anything. xxx
ShazzerInc
Emily, You know you are a wonderful person, Do not let who ever it is saying these things to you get power over you. That's what these sick monsters want. You know I think of you like a sister and that you are a beautiful and sweet and kind person. I am behind you and I have your back. You do need to report whoever it is that has done this. I am furious. Don't give any value to what was said to you. It was said by some faceless coward. Who is so weak that they choose to attack someone who is hurting. And when I find out who it is. They will be taken care of by DS. There is no excuse for anyone on here to be treated in an unkind way. I agree If you aren't here to help then get the hell off of the site!!!!
julia1985
The quote "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." - Eleanor Roosevelt applies here. I think of this quote anytime I doubt myself or am doubted by others.
RoundHereAgain
Thanks everyone, your kind words mean alot to me. Im just scared. He threatned me and told me he would tell all my friends lies about me. And nobody would be here for me anymore. That he would get everyone to leave me. Im just scared Ill lose you all because of him.
EmmyK
em there is no need to be scared sorry he threatened u im sure it was jus him tryin to put someone as beautiful as u down cuz noone at ur level of beauty nd great personality would even say hi to him. nd im sure if he tried sayin any lies about u none of us would believe tht. nd noone would leave ya ur too good a person nd we all are here for help.
sfilly22
I agree you should send these messages to DS & report them. We all have to have a protective barrior around us to stop others from hurting us. Stop communicating immediately in chat with those who come across as hurtful or negative. It's not being rude, it's a matter of self preservation. You have been so open and honest with your profile and people should not use that hurt you.
Petersen
Em, again, I am so so so very sorry that you are having to go through this. Like JAdkins said, it makes me furious too. However, the best thing to do is probably just to report them, block/ignore them, and then forget about them. You have lots of friends on DS who are here to do anything they can to help you so take advantage of us. Also, please realize that you ARE beautiful inside and out!
Jeff^~
LoneShooter
Hey. You shouldn't let that douschebag waste your time or energy.
Aside from that, you look fantastic. Honestly. It goes without saying, I think.
JULIAN666
Em, have you ever heard about Law Of Attraction? If you feel unhealthy about yourself, guess what type of person you are going to invite into your life? Sad people attract sad people, it helps them to remain sad. Happy people attract happy people because they do not wish to be sad.
This site, primarily speaking, is full of sad people, yes it is a support site, but primarily so that sad people can share experiences with one another, and whilst that is healthy in one way, it is unhealthy in another, that being that sadness remains.
There are exceptions, and this site would be a complete disaster without them, I happen to be one of those exceptions. I do have an open mind, I do understand that abuse is a replication of abuse, I therefore have a fair understanding of the pain my fellow site members endure.
I also know though that regardless of ones abuse, it is by personal CHOICE
BeatinBP
Sorry about that, I somehow managed to end that before I intended to, so I will continue...-...that they continue to live in the past. There is a proper way to comprehend your abuse, and I think it is fair to say that you have done a very good job in assessing your past experience. However, it is you, and you alone that CHOOSES to live in the hole you currently find yourself in.
What your grandfather did to you was WRONG, you know it and have acknowledged it, with that having been said you should feel some satisfaction, but instead, by CHOICE, you do not.
We only know of what happened to you because you chose to share it with us, but let's say that you didn't, let's say you say nothing of your abuse, and then we make an evaluation of you, guess what Em? Armed with that, we all say you are a, beautiful, honey, hunk, drop dead gorgeous young woman. You see, it matters not what your past abuse was, we still view you the same way irrespective, you then are entitled to feel the same way about yourself, I urge you to start doing so, because it is TRUE. The CHOICE is yours.
BeatinBP
emmy you look very nice and what people say to you is so silly that they are ugly. You are the best. And i KNOW that you didnt want to have sex with him. And who cares what he did to you he still raped you dont have to tell them because. from laini p.s love you
BeatinBP
You are beautiful, and I really want to help you, sorry to hear that some people write bad things to you in this web site, there are some rude people, but I did not know there were here.
TextMe