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randilee 
8:50am, November 7, 2009
Well it has been 9mos of trying with no results..i am physically but more so mentally exhausted from let downs..i never in a million years assumed it would take this long the 2nd time around. months and months of crying..then getting positive..crying...being positive..its such crap.
An ex bestfriend(somewhat of a friend now) of mine started dating a 17 yr old girl..WAYYYY younger than him..but i guess he was desprate..2 months later..she tells him shes pregnant...shes a highschool drop out cuz she beleives that she makes more money than she needs working fulltime at tim hortons...slick.
Anyways im mind boggled..and ive had enough..i want to just walk up to God..and scream..WHAT HAVE I DONE TO PISS YOU OFF THIS TIME..IM SORRY..HOW MANY TIMES CAN I SAY IT!...
thats all..so maybe someday ill be grateful of "everything i have"..but for now..im just going to hate it all.
Comments
I've been where you are several times. It just doesn't seem right does it? Just know that we are here to pick you up and try to help you through this trying time. There's nothing worse than someone saying, don't worry-it will happen. The mind set you're in it just really helps to take some time to do something fun..and interesting...and completely apart from TTC. Know that this is a struggle and a trying time for your faith..and that it won't always be like this. Reach out and tell God how you feel. That's been some of the best therapy I've had!! I know it seems like He isn't listening, but He is. The devil tries to wedge himself in on any weak spot in your faith, so push out as much as you can and just hang onto that last thread. I'm right there with you babe *hugs and prayers--even when you don't think you can anymore*
NokeChic07
sorry hun wish i could make things better for you. i hope you have a good weekend and that things get better for you.
chary30
I'm with you... I know I SHOULDN'T feel this way or even SAY I feel this way but it feels like a punishment. I want to yell at God and tell that He is hurting me so badly. First, why did He bless me with a miracle only to take it away. And then why do I have to content with infertility when I want more than anything to hold my child! I don't GET it!! Sure, 17 years olds working at TH can have a baby... but women who can support themselves, have planned this for a long time and have more room in their heart for a baby than anyone can possible imagine CANNOT HAVE ONE. Answer me that one....
I am in the same hole you are... tired of let downs. I hate it all too.
HowdysGirl