ShellsNCheese's Journal

I have been feeling slightl nauseous all day, but not bad. I only felt nauseous the first day. What I did notice was that I have way more anxiety than I thought. Since being on the pill it is almost as if it kinda pull more of it out or identified itself more. Like, I don't get panic attacks and I haven't for years, but I can see where I get more anxiety during certain situations more often than I thought. I don't know, I never saw or felt it as much as I do now, but it is a calming during those times, where I identify it and then it goes away. I kinda have that it gets worse feeling before it gets better thing going on I think, hell I don't know.

I have had NO cravings for caffeine which is so weird because I drink a cup of coffee as soon as I get to work, but it is like I don't want it. Haven't had coffee in a week, I did have a cup of decaf yesterday just because I wanted the taste. I feel anxious almost throughout the day. Not in a bad way, but an upbeat energy filled kind of way.

I haven't had any nightmares but I definitely feel a lil weird while I'm asleep, I can tell I have some type of sleep aid in me from the pill. I go to sleep early now that I am not drinking so I get really good sleep and wide awake all day. I now workout before work which helps too.

I have three more weeks to go of no alcohol(at least that's the goal, who knows if I keep taking this or not). This is the longest I've probably gone without alcohol since I started drinking about 5 years ago. I am happy to see the results of weight loss. I know they're going to be GREAT. All I want is 5lbs of fat, but I'm sure it'll be more.

I have a problem with taking this everyday for the rest of my life. Sometimes I feel stuck in my thoughts and realize I kinda zoned out for a moment. I have a really weird taste in my mouth too, forgot about that. It reminds me of the way my mouth tasted when I was fasting on the Master Cleanse years ago. Just an empty dry taste. I don't want to take this pill forever and I definitely don't want to NOT drink forever, so I am just gonna take it one day at a time and see how it goes after the 30 days. This pill has to significantly take care of my anxiety and obsessive thoughts for me to want to keep going. But I am giving it a chance..so..we shall see.