Journal Entry for September 3, 2009
September 3, 2009 2:41pm
Well I see I haven't written in this for 2 months. I guess things have changed alot. I'm doing much better, but the past few days have been …
sunbrite4444
8:18pm, August 19, 2009
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About Me
sunbrite4444
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About Me
My husband blindsided me one day when he came home from work, and just left. After 15 years. This was in October 2008. A decent man would talk, and try to solve a problem without running away. My head has cleared after 10 months, and I see the problems. I don't want him back. If that were ever to happen, he wouldn't be freely allowed to walk into my life. Hard work needs to be done. If I can truly see that hard work is being done, and he is totally dovoted to our marriage, I may re consider. You just never say never. But now, no, no, no.Good luck to him, I know he'll never be happy until he fixes himself up, and he wont. and I've come to realise I cant force him to. At the moment, finally, after many months of serious, excruciating heartbreak, I'm learning to take care of myself. I've started eating right, sleeping right, getting counselling, and concentrating on my faults. I want to be a better person. My confidence is starting to grow everyday. I won't say I don't have a bad day, coz I do, but not half as bad as it once was...I feel calmer, just dealing with me and my son. I only wanted one child, but ended up with two. A grown child, very frustrating...But feel he does realise this, and he is in his way trying to become as independant as he can, so I do admire him for that. He is not a bad person, so I can't say he is. He has issues, and can't face them, but I hope whether back with me, or not, one day he can face his demons, and have a good life. I wish bad on him when I get angry, only lasts a little while. On the whole I wish him the best, and have realised he left for his reasons, and that dosn't reflect on me. I feel I did my best, he probably does too. He is a good man and we have a load of good memories over the past 15 years. In a way I think it's a shame, coz I really believe if he wasn't a runner, things could've been worked out.
My husband blindsided me one day when he came home from work, and just left. After 15 years. This was in October 2008. A decent man would talk, and try to solve a problem without running away. My head has cleared after 10 months, and I see the problems. I don't want him back. If that were ever to happen, he wouldn't be freely allowed to walk into my life. Hard work needs to be done. If I can truly see that hard work is being done, and he is totally dovoted to our marriage, I may re consider. You
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Interests
Most of all spending precious time with my son. Music, and good movies, I've been into a lot of comedies right now. Walking. The beach. Love the beach. Summer time is the best, always outdoors. Try to make the most of winter too....I like to work in the garden, and spend time with my friends. I love travelling, but can't afford it anymore, but one day will travel the world. I love learning new things all the time. I am doing better without him in my life, and have achieved probably more in the last 10 months than with the 15 years with him. Only coz I have to keep more busy, and busy, and busy to try not to think of the pain maybe. sometimes I go overboard, and just get too busy. Then I take my time out. But the time outs on my own aren't near as hard, as they used to be.
Most of all spending precious time with my son. Music, and good movies, I've been into a lot of comedies
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Journal
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Journal Entry for July 26, 2009
July 26, 2009 6:33am
I should have done the non contact thing from the start. I'm starting now though, have already started. I don't want to acknowledge him. Know …
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Journal Entry for June 8, 2009
June 8, 2009 1:57am
My son went camping and 4wd with his dad for 4 days..They do this trip reguarly, with a whole heap of other guys, and their kids. Take their …
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How do you forgive yourself when you find out its your fault
June 4, 2009 10:29pm
My father is an abusive alcoholic. He ruined my childhood. The beatings aren't as bad, as the verbal abuse. That stays with you. I was told I was …
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Hugbook
Hug
Haven't seen you in awhile... just wanted to check in and I hope all is well! Hugs!
Go For It
Good for you. Too many of us make the mistake of seeking another person right away. We have to spend some time with our "self" and like our "self" before we can share it with someone else. If we don't do this we bring our conflicts into our new relationships. I am really glad to see you heal ;) Take care, Noor
Ray of Sunshine
Your thread "A New Day" - how very kind of you.... some sunshine your way for a great day... :D
Kiss
awwwwww....
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Hug
I am so humbled by your message. I appreciate you. You don't need to give anyone credit. Your wings are about to open wide and fly. Look at how far you've come! You had to find your pace and with a gentle push here and there but...look at your strides, look at your kindness. You are the jewel in disguise. Thank you for warming my heart.
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