Journal

Hey. I'm trying to write and I've got it started, but I don't know where to go next. So take a read and let me know where you think I should go next. kthx.

There’s some sort of bliss in every child’s eye, even when they cry. Deep down they still think everything’s going to be okay. Why does that bliss die? Does it happen when they learn Santa is just a fat old man at the mall? Or, when they learn the Easter Bunny is their cousin in a rabbit suit? Or maybe, we’re not giving kids enough credit. Maybe they know more than their parents think they do. Perhaps, when you’re seven years old you do know that “Uncle Josh” isn’t really your uncle; and that when mommy has a lot of make-up on, she’s covering up more than she lets on.

I’ve tried looking back as an adult, and have asked myself, “When did that happen?” I’ve come to the conclusion I have no idea. All I know was that one day, everything was okay. Canada was once a beautiful country where no one was hungry, and that bad guys always got caught. Then suddenly you know that daddy didn’t leave because he had to, but because he didn’t want you in his life, and that your dog didn’t really run away. That the prime minister was ordering people to die for a reason no one quite knew why, and that you had to be okay with that.

So, I'm writing a memoir. This is how it starts, but I'm thinking of changing it.
I can send you more if you want. Just ask.

I've been thinking about my past a lot lately, and I've recently realized something, I am a survivor. I know it sounds odd for an eighteen year old to be saying that, but it's true. I guess for this to make sense I should tell you everything that's happened in my life. I have to warn you however, it's not pleasant or happy. It has death, abuse, abandonment, drugs, and so much more, but I guess I'm ready for my story to be out in the world, maybe give some people a shock. This isn't just my memories, some of it is fact, some is confessions, some is just general knowledge. It's not going to be every little detail, I wouldn't want you to have night terrors like I do, but it's a lot of information, but not a lot of it is happy, but I'm used to it. This is just the way things are I guess. I'm used to it, it's the past, so maybe if I write it down, I can start living in the present...