I grew up with such severe depression and anger. I started drinking at 12, cutting, writing, and dating. My drinking got really bad and to where I could not go out without it and refused to party without my beer. Beer was my life and consumed me. I started having black outs and would wake up in strange places. I was raped as a result of my alcohol. Crazy life of the addict! But, when I was 17, I met an abusive boyfriend. He forced me to try cocaine and got hooked on that! I loved it! When I was 19, I became pregnant. But, I quit drinking and cocaine for her. I also got in a car accident that landed in the hospital for a week and I almost died. I was thrown from the car. But I ended up getting on pills for pain and became addicted to them. It was easier to quit drinking & cocaine cause I had the pills. But, after he tried to kill us both, he left. I later met this guy through my brother who had a crush on me for the year before. He was in the Army and I ended up marrying him. He accepted my daughter as his own. (MY HERO) I adore him and so happy to have found him!!! So I was an Army Wife for 15 yrs. He went to Iraq and than he got out and became a full time Fireman which was his dream. He is also in National Guard part time. I am trying to write my articles and novel right now. I have 2 sons with him now. Meggan is 17, Brian-13, Joshua-9. I started drinking again and got worse on the pills. Went to a rehab in Jan. and did relapse but back on track now hopefully. Life was just horrible to me growing up, but I learned that you can overcome and have joy in your life. My kids definitely taught me joy! I almost gave my daughter up for adoption while I was pregnant with her for the love of that jerk! So GLAD I never did! She is MY BLESSING!!! My family is my joy in life that I never thought ever possible! I still struggle with a lot of depression and cravings for my pills, cocaine, & alcohol but taking it ONE DAY AT A TIME! I have nightmares of Jerry abusing me, raping me, & mentally abusing me. The mental abuse was bad. My parents were the same way. I have an awesome man in my life, but we have struggled a lot through the marriage cause of my issues & his. He is an awesome man! He supports me and helps me. He isn't perfect though and has some anger issues but doesn't hit me. If any of you ever need to talk, I'm always here and would love to help in any way I can. I have been through it all! Absolute horror & Hell! I have lived a nightmare of darkness, abuse, addiction, cutting, abortion, rape, fear, food addiction, addiction to sex, anger, ect... I have overcome it all but far from healed. I will never allow a man to treat me like that ever again!
I grew up with such severe depression and anger. I started drinking at 12, cutting, writing, and dating. My drinking got really bad and to where I could not go out without it and refused to party without my beer. Beer was my life and consumed me. I started having black outs and would wake up in strange places. I was raped as a result of my alcohol. Crazy life of the addict! But, when I was 17, I met an abusive boyfriend. He forced me to try cocaine and got hooked on that! I loved it! When I was 19,
I love to read, write, listen & dance to music! Music is my way of escape! Love to be with my family! rent movies, play pool, cards, board games, have a catch with the football, Love to go to the beach, out on the boat crabbing, love museums, zoos, the aquarium. Love going to the hockey & baseball games. I am writing my novel and have already wrote some articles for magazines. I would love to write a screen play, produce it, & act in it! That has always been my dream. My stuff I like to write is more like Life Time movies. Not to sappy but more close to real life stuff. True stories about abuse, rape, abortion, cutting, addiction. I will also write like Romance with action in it and a lot of drama.
I love to read, write, listen & dance to music! Music is my way of escape! Love to be with my family!
2 hugs received
passion2write and iGoTCharisma are now friends 3:55am
passion2write gave grkgirl a hug 9:00am
I so wish I could be of help sweetie. I had a mean mother as well and she always criticized us and made…
passion2write turned 36 12:00am
August 12, 2009 8:55am
Hey friends! Wow, it's been 6 months and I'm still struggling really bad. I am craving all of it to. My alcohol, cocaine, and pills. …
July 29, 2009 12:09pm
I haven't quit smoking yet. It's very difficult because I had to give up everything else so it's like I'm holding on to this one! I …
July 7, 2009 11:07am
We were suposed to go to my mom;s house for 2 weeks while my husband did the National Guard, but he ended up with 2 hernia's and had to get …
May 10, 2009 10:29am
Hi, my name is Lisa. I am a mother of 3 beautiful children. My daughter, Meggan, 16. my son Brian, 12, & Joshua, 9. I have …
Hi, how are you today!
Hope you are doing better, have a good week!
=( i hope it does get better. maybe i need to take a chance on someone that can help me like you took a chance with him. i went home. my father told me to get out. they just don't support me in anything i do and i am never ever good enough no matter what and it's just so frustrating i wish i knew what to do... i'm just scared of being alone..and all ive ever known is being alone.. i want it to all be over!
ive been going from friend to friend, staying in apartments and dorms. dont know what to do yet. i cant be home. would try the church but i feel like.. they know my family so well... i dont even feel safe there. home is supposed to be comforting.... if im sitting in my room crying , my mother will come in and start calling me names, making fun of me, making me feel a hundred times worse... just elevating the suffering to another level i wouldnt wish on criminals
Hey hon-how's it going?
My name is Lisa. I was raped when I was 16 by five guys. I was also raped by my boyfriend & his friend. Than later on when my husband was in Iraq, I was raped. A guy put something in my drink and that was about all I remember. I remember some things during that night. So, I was raped 3 times. The guy I was with for 3 yrs., him & his friend raped me, he did a lot of sexual things I didn't like & forced me to do things.
I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia after a car accident that I was in back in July of 94. I am hoping to continue to workout daily & do yoga because when you strengthen your muscles your body will get better. I also want to keep eating healthy because I know this will help.
I have been cutting since I was 12. I also tend to punch walls. I break things. I have anger issues as well. I have scars on my wrist and my arm. I usually use a straight edge razor blade or pen or scissors. Whatever happens to be there at the time.
I have been through hell with emotional & physical abuse and I still go through emotional abuse. My father & mother always yelled at me & hit me. I than got in a 3 yr. relationship with a guy who physically & emotionally abused me. I used to cut and drink, do cocaine, and take pills to get me through all this. I had a child with that guy but he tried to kill us both and than left. My husband who I have been with for the past 15 yrs. does emotionally abuse me. He mostly yells at me now.
I started cocaine when I was 17. I was so hooked that we did it all day and night. I am so glad to be alive but I traded that addiction for opiates for the past 15 years and I have been craving coaine seriously. I know I can't go back to that but I want to so bad. I did use cocaine again when I lived in North Carolina. I need to stay off it but I am so afraid if I get around someone who uses it than I know I will fall right back to it. I will not be able to say no. I need support.
I was in a car accident back in July of 94. I almost died and I was thrown from the car. I wasn't wearing my seatbelt which saved me from being crushed. I was in the hospital for a week and couldn't walk for 3-4 days from my broken pelvis. I got 2 herniated disks in my low back and all the ones in my neck are slipped.
I started drinking when I was 12. I became more of an alcoholic when I was 14 or 15. I couldn't have fun without my beer and would get very upset if I didn't get it. I was a little promiscuous cause of the alcohol. I traded in alcohol for my pills and still crave drinking.
I have had codependency issues since I was 16. I have been married now for 15 yrs. and have never worked so I could stay home with my kids. Also cause of issues with my back and neck from a car accident. But, I have always depended on men and looked for love through sex.
I started bulimia when I was 13. I have always been teased about being fat when I was little. My mother and neighbors. My ex boyfriend who was abusive also did. I have always been worried about my weight. I started to exercise and stuck to it for like 7 yrs. After my 3rd child, I stopped. My back pain & Fibromyalgia got so bad that I couldn't. I am struggling with getting back into it now and have done things I shouldn't have to lose weight.
I have always had serious anxiety attacks and anxiety and depression. I grew up with people phobia. I was always afraid around large crowds of people. I hated school so much cause of it. I was afraid I would do something stupid or embarrassing. It's a lot better but still there. I have anxiety & deep depression from my past.
