Join Now
Coffeecake 
Iv had a really miserable few days since the argument with mum. My sister rang a few days ago as well and basically spent an hour putting me down and "correcting me" about every little thing like I'm some stupid child. Everything I said got twisted again and again even the simplest things where twisted to make me out to be stupid, ignorant or childish. Every time I got annoyed and tried to defend myself I was told I'm just like mum and cant have an adult conversation! WTF!! Want to talk about twisted! at my daughters first birthday my brothers kid bit my sis quite hard, she turned to me and said "oh she will bite everyone, just you wait" I said no she bloody wont lol. Some how that comment was me saying I think my bro and his misses are bad parents and I'm a know it all and full of myself?? I said iv never thought they where bad parents and asked her how the hell did she get "I think they are bad parents" from that and why is she even bringing it up? and then got told I'm childish, just like mum and cant have an adult conversation?? WTF??? There was no way out, if I said anything back it was twisted and thrown back in my face, I had to defend myself, my kid and my husband all without saying, no your wrong? After a while I gave up, there was nothing I could do. I got off the phone feeling worthless after 20 mins of saying yeah your right, yeah that was my fault, I was only 6 but yeah your right, yeah my hubby is controlling, yeah I do need to grow up, yeah I am a child, yeah I'm a bad mum, yeah I need to get things in perspective, yeah mum was a good mum, yeah I need to get over it, yeah it is to much to ask mum to have a wash and put clean clothes on like everyone else so she can see her grand daughter, yeah sorry I'm being sarcastic just like mum again sorry, yeah your right.
Iv not been angry, iv just been defeated and thinking maybe she is right and I'm "over reacting".
Today I realised all I'm trying to do is get on with my life and be happy, that's it, I'm not asking a lot. I had a shit upbringing, some other peoples where worse and some where better. I was abused sexually, physically, emotionally and suffered neglect. Its not just me saying I was abused its what every child protection agency considers child abuse. Yes mum done a few good things for me but it was nothing more than normal parenting and it was very far and few between. Iv worked hard to "get over" what happened, I still have emotional and physical scars but I hide them well and apart from being a bit socially awkward, I'm doing very well. There is a lot of normal stuff I don't no about but I'm working on it, I'm trying. I always try to look on the bright side and I'm trying to be a better person and iv never given up, which is more than I can say for them.
I will not be put down and made to feel worthless by a 33yo failure who quit her job, her house, and her 2 year relationship to live with there mother through there OWN choice, (coincidently a few months after mum got a big inheritance) is not even looking for a job, dose not want to better them selves, keeps shagging there ex boyfriend and spends all there time sitting at the pc shovelling junk food in to there 20+ stone face while moaning about there back ache, complaining they cant do anything and putting everyone else down. THEY NEED HELP!
I'm off on holiday in 3 days and I'm going to come back refreshed and happy.
