gladicame

Close Menopause

My Dr. told me to use baby diapers(they absorb more) and I've been doing that for a few yrs now. I don't go anywhere without a change of clothing and I wear dark colors. I bought a chair pad from a store that sells products for the disabled, etc. I keep one in the car and another one at home. I feel more confidant than I would without them.

Close Bereavement
Type: Loss of a Relative

In 1996, my mother died after being ill one month. In 1999 my brother died, 3 months after being diagnosed with cancer. In 2002, my wonderful husband died after a lengthy illness. In 2003 my dad died after complications from surgery. I understand some of what grief means and does to people. I believe I've handled things well, but, if one of my children died....that would be an entirely different story. Or if someone I loved died at the hands of another...I would struggle to forgive.

Treatments

Crying Working / Worked

I allow myself to grief when I feel I need to. Especially on the anniversary of the death. If other people don't understand, they have a problem.

Getting Angry Not Working

I punched pillows and cried, etc. Not really effective. If I threw things, I just had top clean them up, so that behaviour lost its oomph.

Grief Counseling Working / Worked

Keeping busy helps keep our mind off the grief for a while, but it's always under the surface.

Helping Others Working / Worked

Lots of people are lonely and would love a listening ear. It helps me to forget my problems. We can understand the fraility of humanity together.

Keeping Busy Working / Worked

Sometimes, I just have a "do nothing" day. I allow myself to rest and relax. My mom never would. She made herself feel guilty if she relaxed, so I do it for her.

Music Working / Worked

Love good music! Sometimes, I cry,or laugh but that's OK too.

Prayer Working / Worked

I can tell God ANYTHING. He never turns His back on me or is shocked by what I say.

Reading Working / Worked

A hobby anyway. Now I'm reading, "The Lives Our Mothers Leave Us" by Patti Davis. Interesting.

Remembering Working / Worked

Sharing the scrapbooks with others helps me. Last time I shared my moms book, I cried. When I saw a picture of my husband shortly before he died, I really cried. I had forgotten how sick he was and how much weight he had lost.

Scrapbooking Working / Worked

I put down on paper the history of the person I loved.

Support from Friends & Family Working / Worked

Essential.I don't feel I have a lot of support from family, but I sure do from a few good friends.

Talking Somewhat Helpful

Only helps to the point that I don't make a nuisance of myself. Others may get tired of listening, so I keep this to a minimum now. Mind you, several yrs have gone by. These are not fresh griefs.

Time Working / Worked

Allow yourself time. It does help. My dad said, "Grief is a gift. If we didn't love, we wouldn't grieve."