Life is just passing me by
October 27, 2009 6:44pm
I'm really confused as to why I'm here. I don't get why I didn't die in my crash. I can't committ suicide, because I don't …
Starzz
9:39am, November 16, 2009
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About Me
Starzz
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About Me
I started fighting the battle of depression around the age of 11. I have a love-hate relationship with myself. I learned to keep all mythoughts to myself, so that I wouldn't get laughed at. I was teased all through school, and abused by my father every day. I suffer with depression, anxiety, bi-polar, loneliness. I never was on any medication, so my way of coping was drugs and alcohol. This past Easter I decided to drink and drive. I ended up flipping a truck 8 times, crashed and wrapped it around a tree. I totalled the truck, but I walked away with no injuries. The only injuries I had was my feet were cut up, because I had beer bottles that shattered and cut my feet. I was wearing my seatbelt, but I know God picked me up and carried me when it happened. When the cops came to help me, I flipped out. I was taking to jail on 3 charges, 2 of which are felonies. I have not done drugs in over a year now and I don't drink anymore. I am now on medcication, I get therapy. Since I live a diffrent lifestly now, I have lost all the so called friends I thought I had. I still struggle with the depression on a daily basis. When I am around others, they don't think I have depression. But as soon as I get by myself, i get very down. I cry all the time over nothing. I just pray. God didn't make me stubborn for nothing. I refuse to give up and let the devil win. I know one day I will reach true happiness. I'm a work in progress.
I started fighting the battle of depression around the age of 11. I have a love-hate relationship with myself. I learned to keep all mythoughts to myself, so that I wouldn't get laughed at. I was teased all through school, and abused by my father every day. I suffer with depression, anxiety, bi-polar, loneliness. I never was on any medication, so my way of coping was drugs and alcohol. This past Easter I decided to drink and drive. I ended up flipping a truck 8 times, crashed and wrapped it around
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Interests
Learning as much as I can about God and teaching others so they to can have a better life. Owning my own buisness, continuing to live a drug and alcohol free life. I like tatttoos, piercings, cleaning, and being productiive. I love animals, and helping children that are not offred the best in life. I'am as well trying to learn sign language, I have a boston terrier that is deaf, sometimes it would be easier if I knew some sign language!!!
Learning as much as I can about God and teaching others so they to can have a better life. Owning my
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Journal
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why the hell am i here?
October 23, 2009 9:29pm
im really hating life right now and everything in it. i hate my job, myself and the world around me. i want to crawl into a hole and never come out. …
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last time i checked, i was a human to
August 10, 2009 6:45pm
i feel like i have wen't to hell thursday, and just got back an hour ago. my brother comes to see me for his birthday( he lives In Texas), for …
This entry is private
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Hugbook
Rainbow
Hi,
Sending you this hug to let you know that depression doesn't have to be forever. I ballted the Black Dog for 17 long years and finally beat it about nine months ago now. Went through hell to get here, but I made it. If you need someone to listen I'm here for you. Take care and God Bless you always.
Hugs,
Chris
Get Well Soon!
Carebear Hugs
Hug
You know my prayers are with you everyday.
Roger the Minister - verse
Psalms:27:1: The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?
Hug
i'm sorry to hear that. i kinda' feel the same today.
anyway, i hope you have a good weekend.
Hug
I forgave shortly after wanting to be a christian it took 36 years to forget why I forgave. It was worth the wait it helped me to grow. I now have a wonderful relationship with my mother. For a long time I thought it might not ever have been possible. I'm glad we both lived long enough to experience the final results. MBTCL Dave
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Photos
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Support Groups
Close Depression
I have been depressed for most of my life now. I have been abused in every way possible. I have lost most of family, so I'm very alone. My soul is numb, I feel nothing. Im desperate to have anyone to talk to. I can't think to talk.
Treatments
- Prozac Too Soon to Tell
Open Alcoholism
i have always drank for fun but more to just cope. i want to quit because i am afraid of becoming addicted. on easter i was in a bad car accident due to drinking and driving. i flipped the truck i was in about 3-4 times, totalled it, and went to jail. only by the grace of God did i make it out alive. as soon as i got out of jail, that night i had a drink. i know i have a problem now
Open Loneliness
i feel as im here on earth by myself. my nannny passed a few years ago, and i didnt get to say bye. she was my best friend, and the only person i wsnt judged by. my dad has been missing for 6 years, my brother has been missing for over 10.
Treatments
- Prozac Not Working
Open Financial Challenges
i need meds really bad, but I cant afford them. i was denied medicaid, and havent worked in a while.
Treatments
- Budgeting Working / Worked
