supermalv's Journal

i don't know why sometimes i'm still anxious about completing things i told myself i'd do. even when everything is going well. why is it so hard to convince myself that i won't quit. why is my heart so stubborn?

 i hate being a quitter. it makes me feel weak and powerless. it makes me feel like i have no say in anything in life. like i'm just passively going wherever it wants me to go.

maybe because i fear the consequences of quitting that i'm feeling anxious right now.

i have to keep on going with this project. no matter how long it takes. so far, there has only been a couple of things i completed successfully. i have to keep on going and complete project by project. only this much won't be able to convince myself that i have escaped from the quitter mentality.

maybe a couple of years of completing lots of achievement is the only thing that can finally make me disbelief, disprove, discard years and years of growing up living life powerlessly. this is the only way i can transcend my own sad destiny. i have to keep on going.