ancestralhealer's Journal

Recognizing that ADHD can be a bigger factor than you think has been an eye opener. When I started actually looking at the symptoms I could see nearly everyone in his behavior. When I started telling him that  this behavior could be the ADHD and you don't even realize it. He has started listening. His mom got tiffed with me and I wouldn't talk to her for awhile cause she suddenly thought we should break up. A gross misunderstanding, she had been forgetting to put her paxil in her meds and just found out and had been off it for two weeks, so Alan had to explain to her that our relationship problems weren't us fighting they had been there with all his other relationships and this is why everyone left him. She just had never talked about these issues with his other girlfriends. I do cause I think she needs to understand and I don't think she ever truly has. Yea she knows he's been diagnosed but I don't think she really clicks to how much of his behavior that irritates everyone and makes him difficult is the ADHD symptoms. She doesn't take it seriously cause other kids in the family ahve it and do fine: but thier medicated and they read and write and they are young when it's easier to train there behavior skills to cope with the illness. All of which Alan hasn't had benefit of as he grew up and went to school when ADHD wasn't as fully understood.  He's made great progress. He listens if I make sure to get his fulll attention, if I reinforce procedures, like organizational skills and follow thru skills that we take for granted he skips over in a hurried go go go thing his adhd brain does without him realizing. After all, if you don't understand an illness how can you work with it or around it and develop coping strategies. We both agree that we want to try natural meds and behavioral retrainging before resorting to meds. And to my surprise it's working. Actually better than I thought. His being 47 and not been treated or had the understanding of his illness explained to him , and he can't read or write so there's no way he could access the wealth of info out there. He's doing pretty good and seems happy that I love him enough to help him work in his glitches than throw him away like everyone else, thus I think this explains the feeling that brought us together , the feeling this man needed me and I had no earthly clue why but I think now nearly a year later I see GOD's little plan. I am geting him counselling in behavioral ADHD management and a new screening to be sure which type he has and make sure they help him understand it fully and that's half the battle. H e get's it!!! How his behavior he took for granted hurts others.

And I'don't think aI recall an adict getting it this easily? shhhhhh one day at a time....we're 57 days out and counting.