AirS's Journal

 Tierd today and in pain. Arguement with spouse. I don't know how to get him to realize how fibro works even after 10 years. He should know by now I can't always cuddle and hug. I hate it too but  sometimes he just acts spoiled. It get in the way of us being intimate when I am in pain and that is very stressful. It not like I am not attracted to him I am just exhausted and know mostimes sex set off my muscle spasms. I don't have much of a drive either. I hope by getting active things will be better. I just hate to get any pain that muddles up my day. I am an in a fog today because I deleted all my emails. I am really out of it and stress is not helping. My Mom is sick and I was planning to visit her this week. haven't seen  her in awhile and hope she is feeling better by Friday. She has a chronic illness. Well a few. Severe digestive problems which she has had several surguries. I worry about her because she was like my kid when I was a child. I took care of her from12-18 and it really was terrible experience. Except she was a Demoral addict back then. it was hell doing it mostly by myself except when she was in the hospital. I have brothers and a sister but they were all older and not around. They stiill aren't and I am feeling really depressed and inprisioned in my house because I can't drive and don't have any friends. I never was good at making friends because of my anxiety and I really was a loner. I didn't know how to deal with people at all. I was just scared all the time. I have tried to give this to God all of my past and it is hard sometimes because it comes up and I get sad and sometimes angry. Then I just have to pray to the Lord to set me free, but it really hard when your in pain. Hope to have better days inthe future