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smudgey1 
4:22pm, July 7, 2009
Been a little low and irritable these past few day...cant really pinpoint why !! I think my teenage son is causing me to feel a little down..He's borderline Aspergers Syndrome and struggles with friends and social situations...Links with school have broken down and Luke now see's a child psychologist who liases with school...She understands him far better than school but I think she's struggling to change their opinions about Luke.
It's a very good catholic school and most students come out with a higher than normal education...really cant fault that can you...But their rigid thinking and old fashioned ways are really impacting on Luke. To make things harder for Luke he's currently having problems with a boy in school who basically wants to have a fight with Luke...Luke is not a fighter and wouldn't harm anyone.... We have a dilemma though...Luke has told us he doesn't want us to inform school of this because of possible repercussions. He's nearly in his last year at school and recently he's been taking time off school...Yes sometimes he's been unwell but now we are thinking it's because of bullying also. If we try and talk to him about this he just clams and refuses to speak about it.
I know this last bit will sound selfish,but I dont want to go back to feeling depressed... I really couldn't cope with that right now... I have not been very sociable lately and I feel this is because I may be slipping back...My wife knows that I shut myself off from everyone when i'm low and has commented i seem distant right now. I have tasted how it feels to be depression free for these past 6 months..it's been great to feel so well. You never forget how it feels to be depressed..and right now I have scary thoughts.
Sorry I haven't been giving out many hugs and comments on journals....hopefully this will soon pass and i will feel much better.
peace,love and lights
mark
Comments
Hey, honey.
You sound like me, in that when the depression hits, you close yourself off and no one can get close. It isn't selfish, because if the depression hits (if you're like me) you're unable to do anything to help anyone else.
As far as the bullying goes...phew. I was absent a lot from school during my last two years - at one point had panic attacks whenever I tried to leave the house. This was all psychosamatic due to bullying and other personal situations that made school THE last place in the world I wanted to be - so maybe he has been unwell.
I didn't inform the school of the situation when I was being bullied, becuase I knew that the repercussions would be a LOT worse than coping with the bullying itself, but I do understand what a difficult situation it is for you. If your son is adament about not wanting the school involved, I think you have to let him make the decisions on this one. Having said that, however, if the situation ever became physical, I think you'd have to rethink it.
The school problems.... I know it's not an ideal for anyone, but if it's becoming an issue, maybe home schooling...? There's plenty of support for this now, local authorities recognise that sometimes this is the best way. Or maybe changing schools...? I know nothing about Aspergers, but with Social Anxiety Disorder I DO get the 'struggling with social aspects' thing.
I know that this probably has not helped you one bit, Mark, but I'm here if you need me (as useless as I am, lol)
Be well, my friend xxxx
DarkFireDreams
Hi Mark,
I'm sorry you are feeling down. I understand the problems with school only too well!
If you want to chat, or talk on skype, I will be happy to talk with you.
My skype is listed under the email address I gave you.
Why don't you go down to the gym? That normally helps you to feel better.
Hugs, Ellie x
smartygirl2
Thanks Dark...I really appreciate you taking time to reply...Love and hugs always.
smudgey1
oh mark... I'm sorry to hear about your son. Bullying can be such a painful experience. In high school there was a mean girl that would taunt me every day, it got worse and worse. Bullies thrive off it, when nobody steps up and puts them in their place! You need to speak up and take action, perhaps speak to the principle or have a meeting with the boys parents? Nip it in the bud before this ugly situation gets out of control~Good Luck,Katie
asadheart
Dear Mark,
I'm sorry to hear about your son and what he's going thru. As a Cathoic and having gone through Catholic schooling, I realise the benefits, but it's inevitable I think in any school the issue of bullying, and when I look back there were one or two who did that to me (horrible, and I still remember).
I think personally, please address the teacher or Principal of the school (with discretion) and insist on confidentiality (Catholics are good with confidentiality) but let them know what's happening. They are supposed to be Christian (please remind them of this), and bullying is 'not on'!! They just mustn't let your son or anyone else know that you've spoken to them about it!!
Make them see what is happening and don't let them deny it!
Please don't let this get you down!
Love and bright positive thoughts to you Mark...
I'm sure all will be well!
Love,
Paula
PaulaPMP
Mark, I don't know if this may help, but I've had another thought regarding the dilemma with your son. 'asadheart' has a good point regarding meeting with the boy's parents perhaps? Alternatively, could the psychologist give your son some strategies to deal with the bully himself, thereby empowering your son, ie the use of words. I don't mean verbal abuse, but something like "It's cowardly to pick on people who aren't into fighting!" or "Tormenting me isn't bravery!" or "I'm at school to learn something and it's not boxing! What about you?"
I know, my examples probably sound pretty corny huh? But if only he had a friend who could walk beside him and stick up for him.
Maybe, your friend 'DarkFireDreams' too has a point about home schooling? Why not really? In a way it could be also satisfying to say to the school(the staff of whom don't sound that supportive at the moment) that you believe your son would benefit more positively from home schooling under the circumstances. Wouldn't it be a great feeling to say that to them? (sorry but the Irish ancestry is coming out in me!) My mother removed me from a Catholic college before I'd completed my schooling and I remember the wonderful feeling of 'freedom' - like I'd been let loose from a prison (prestigious girls' college), but very strict and there was emotional bullying, plus I was so shy socially). I never looked back! Went on to business college etc..
Another thing for yourself - I personally find when I'm fighting for some cause or other, I tend to become strong and feel empowered, forgetting my depression. Instead of my feelings going inward where I feel I'm 'sinking', they are forced outward and the energy released and the knowledge that I can do something to make a difference or finally resolve a problem or achieve some minor positive victory is so uplifting and rewarding. People used to walk over me once, but not any more!
Love,
Paula
PaulaPMP