Journal Entry for May 26, 2009
May 26, 2009 3:07pm
Progress
10 %
dsarosy
2:46pm, May 23, 2009
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About Me
dsarosy
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About Me
I am the mother of the most amazing four year old boy named slade! he is the light of my life. i recently realized that i have bipolar disorder after being misdiagnosed 4 times. it has been a relief to understand what has been going on and gives me hope that as i learn the triggers and use my medicine correctly i will never allow my life to again be what it had become. my disorder absolutely destroyed my relationship and deeply hurt the man who i love very much. i attempted suicide 5 months ago mostly due to the fact that i hated who i had become. i want to live a simple life full of love and happiness now, surrounded by friends who trust and love me. if i achieve these simple things i believe i will be a content soul and a good mother.
I am the mother of the most amazing four year old boy named slade! he is the light of my life. i recently realized that i have bipolar disorder after being misdiagnosed 4 times. it has been a relief to understand what has been going on and gives me hope that as i learn the triggers and use my medicine correctly i will never allow my life to again be what it had become. my disorder absolutely destroyed my relationship and deeply hurt the man who i love very much. i attempted suicide 5 months ago mostly
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Interests
i love music!!!!! when nothing else works, music is a safe place for me. i also love cooking and being outdoors. i am a bit of a hippie at heart.:)
i love music!!!!! when nothing else works, music is a safe place for me. i also love cooking and being
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Journal
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Journal Entry for May 24, 2009
May 24, 2009 10:36am
the last couple of weeks have been absolutely crazy with slade having viral conjunctivitis and blood coming out of his eyes. i missed a week when i …
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threes a crowd
May 5, 2009 6:02pm
went to drop slade off with his father this morning and there was a chick in his bed. let me back up, we have been broken up for a year but we have …
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getting out
May 3, 2009 11:26am
i didn't want to leave the house yesterday but i made myself go, mostly for my son. we had a great time hangin out with my friend and her new …
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Hugbook
Ray of Sunshine
Sending you some sunshine! Hope you have a good week....(((HUGS)))
Flower
A big hug and some flowers cos you deserve it!
Love Suze x
Little Love
sendin u love have a great weekend!!!!
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Moment of Peace
how are u feeling?
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Ray of Sunshine
i wish i can get high on some weed i need relief from reality. hey how are u? i hope that lady does come soon i feel frustated and tense really tense!!have a great day
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Photos
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Goals
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Support Groups
Close Bipolar Disorder
Treatments
- Depakote Working / Worked
- it takes the edge off for the entire day. i feel so much calmer and can make the right emotional response easier, if that makes any sense...
- Marijuana Working / Worked
- it is working quite well thus far and i am keeping my fingers crossed. i smoke a little every morning and try to have a muffin or something with marijuana in it for the workday. i smoke as needed in the evening. marijuana also helps me to think in ways i may not have thought before and has literelly become my therapy. i have more calm in my life right now than i have ever had.
- Xanax Working / Worked
- try to only take xanax a couple of times a week because i have been addicted to it before and i tried to commit suicide with it once. but when i have a panic attack or just too much mania they are stronger than pot and my symptoms melt away. i know xanax is just a band aid and doesnt have therapeutic effects like marijuana.
Close Bisexuality
well i was attracted to girls very early on in my life but due to a very strict upbringing i was not comfortable with it and was very ashamed of it during my marriage and it caused a lot of friction in my marriage. i am learning to accept myself but it is a long road i guess.
Open Breakups & Divorce
my struggle with bipolar disorder had a HUGE impact on our relationship. he tried really hard at first, but he became discouraged because he could not give me what i needed. (i didn't even now what that was) he drank a whole lot and that didn't mix well with my craziness. we are still friends and i love him dearly but i doubt we will ever rekindle our marriage. (although i do still hope sometimes...)
Treatments
- Forgiveness Working / Worked
- i had a lot of forgiving to do...especially to myself.
- Pets Working / Worked
- i got a rottweiler/pittbull mix 2 months after we broke up. he his a big sweetheart and takes up that empty spot in the bed nicely!!:)
