Love and Suicide
August 11, 2009 3:31am
Why do I feel like crying when I should be happy right now?? I know why. It all boils down to one thing: love. Love is the thing that haunts me most. …
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DreadJacob 
3:06am, August 11, 2009
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About Me
DreadJacob
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About Me
I don't really know where to start. I've always felt like I don't belong. Always been depressed for as long as I can remember. But I've always put on a smile for the people around me. After all, they don't need to know, right? I'm very smart and creative and some would say funny. Yet despite all that I have very low self esteem and am almost always lonely. I'm also a very deep thinker sometimes which sometimes gets me even more depressed. I started cutting about a year ago and I recently started seeing a therapist and a psychologist. Despite seeing them on a constant basis, however, I still cut and try to kill myself sometimes. I still try to be nice to everyone around me though. I truly believe that if we are nice to others, then we can maybe make someone's life just a little better. And if I do that, then maybe I'm not as worthless as I feel.
I don't really know where to start. I've always felt like I don't belong. Always been depressed for as long as I can remember. But I've always put on a smile for the people around me. After all, they don't need to know, right? I'm very smart and creative and some would say funny. Yet despite all that I have very low self esteem and am almost always lonely. I'm also a very deep thinker sometimes which sometimes gets me even more depressed. I started cutting about a year ago and I recently started
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Interests
Listening to music, Watching movies, reading SciFi and Fantasy, playing video games, enjoying nature and spending time with animals, and writing.
Listening to music, Watching movies, reading SciFi and Fantasy, playing video games, enjoying nature
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Recent Activity
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Journal
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Nobody Loves Me
August 10, 2009 4:48am
The title says it all. Nobody loves me. Doubt anyone ever will. I should be happy. Something great has just happened in my life. I should be happier …
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I'm back
August 1, 2009 5:13pm
Hey everyone. It's been a long time. I'm back now and I'm more miserable than ever. I haven't cut in like, 2 or 3 months, but I plan …
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Pie!!!
June 5, 2009 4:37pm
I'm all right today I guess. Still kind of down, but I'm going to bake a pie today!! Well, today or tomrrow. And any day I get to bake a pie …
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Hugbook
Hug
hey. it's been a while, so i thought i would just drop in and see how you were doing. that's really cool about your horror film. hope it goes well! let me know how it goes.
Hug
Hi dreadjacob hope everything is ok with you today. What have you been doing today?. You will find love, when I was younger I got bullied bad at school and home, and I felt like I was nothing and worthless, but I did find some one who loved me for a little time. So I feel that one day you will find some one who makes you feel you are worth some thing, keep in touch and stay strong take care xxx.
Ray of Sunshine
it was fun talking to you.... hope we can talk again soon, hun....
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Well Done
It was great to hear from you and you will find some one,I think the statement that there is someone for everyone is right, just give it time. Well thats great about the film you will have to let me know what its called and good luck with the filming. I loved your photos of your pets they look so cute. Hope to hear from you soon take care xxx.
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Ray of Sunshine
Dear Dreadjacob Im glad to be your friend. I have just read your journal, Im so sorry that you feel so bad about yourself and you do deserve love, one day you will meet the right person who loves you for who you are, a good person. Hope you dont mind me asking but what is the good thing that as happened in your life lately ?. Hope you have not self harmed Im here if you need to talk, stay strong take care and hope to hear from you soon xxx.
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Photos
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Goals
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Support Groups
Close Depression
Type: Clinical (Major) DepressionI've been depressed for a long time and have often thought about killing myself. I want to be happy...but I'm not sure I know how to be anymore.
Treatments
Close Self-Injury
I've been cutting a lot and I often contemplate killing myself
Open Sex / Pornography Addiction
DreadJacob hasn’t entered any details for this support group.Open Paranoia
DreadJacob hasn’t entered any details for this support group.
