Mess
November 10, 2009 10:40pm
Stupid, stupid girl,What have you done?You thought you'd neverLook down the barrel of a gun.You won't lie to others,But you'll lie to …
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ashleyley92
11:24pm, November 10, 2009
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About Me
ashleyley92
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About Me
I guess I can spill my guts here :P My name is Ashley Spears and I was born on July 29, 1992. My hair and eye colors are brown. I am really fat and I am trying to lose weight.. I beat myself up over it all the time so please don't criticize me. I like to draw, paint, and mess around on photoshop. I like subjects of art like: eating disorders, mental disorders, dramatic effects, unique art, random things. I am going to be a senior in high school. I live in the city (if you can call it a city) of Cleaton, in Muhlenberg county, Kentucky. I hate stereotypes. I do believe in God, but sometimes I do think the bible is somehow misinterpreted as in people don't read it themselves. They listen to other people. Did you know Moses wife was Ethiopian/Cushite?? Don't believe me? Well I don't lie so look up Numbers 12:1. I am a very pessimistic person and I'm quite negative about myself. I started cutting myself when I was 11. I have plenty of scars and I'm not proud. Some are in the form of words like Fat, Disgusting, Fat, I'm sorry, forgive me, lazy, and another Fat. We all have our own way of coping. I have been in a behavioral hospital AKA nuthouse, loony bin, crazy place because of it. Only once and that was back in 2006. I do see 'professional help'. Though I don't think there is help for me. I have quite a bit of pets. I have my dog (she is a chihuahua mix), Paris. My two cats. My turtle. I love my dog though. I have had her for about 4 years. If something happened to her there would be two funerals. (unless someone purposely hurt her then there would be 3). I love to watch: The Secret Life of the American Teenager. My Favorite Movies Would Be: The Green Mile, Girl, Interrupted, Pirates of the Caribbean, Ice Age 3, Probably a lot more My favorite games are: The Sims, Mario, Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. My favorite music is by: Evanescence, Bayside, Superchick, MCR, Britt Nicole, HIM, Deadstar Assembly, Aiden, Garbage, Manic Street Preachers, Mudvayne, Saosin, and a lot more Books: Impulse by Ellen Hopkins, Cut by Patricia McCormick, The Devouring by Simon Holt, The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath, Go Ask Ogre by Jolene Sianna, Twilight by Stephanie Meyers was an OK book until fans ruined it. That's all of the randomness I can think of at the time.
I guess I can spill my guts here :P My name is Ashley Spears and I was born on July 29, 1992. My hair and eye colors are brown. I am really fat and I am trying to lose weight.. I beat myself up over it all the time so please don't criticize me. I like to draw, paint, and mess around on photoshop. I like subjects of art like: eating disorders, mental disorders, dramatic effects, unique art, random things. I am going to be a senior in high school. I live in the city (if you can call it a city) of Cleaton,
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Website
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Interests
Dogs, animals in general, art, anything really
Dogs, animals in general, art, anything really
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Recent Activity
November 10
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ashleyley92 updated their status 11:24pm
I feel the need to write another poem :(…
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ashleyley92 posted a new photo 10:56pm
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ashleyley92 posted a new photo 10:56pm
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ashleyley92 posted a new photo 10:56pm
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ashleyley92 posted a new photo 10:56pm
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Journal
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A Tragic Purpose (Kinda sad)
November 10, 2009 10:40pm
She was sick of livingBut she said she was okaySometimes she'd open her mouth to speakBut couldn't find anything to sayShe has many scarsThe …
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Apologies
November 10, 2009 10:39pm
I'm sorry I'm a burden.I'm sorry I'm in the way.I'm sorry for being quietAnd not having much to say.I'm sorry for being …
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Lost
November 10, 2009 10:38pm
I'm sitting on the side of the tubThinking of how easy it would beTo run the edge across my skinAnd feel as if I've been set freeFrom all the …
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Laughing Isn't Allowed
November 10, 2009 10:37pm
Something's wrong with meI feel so aloneI'm already here, yetI want to go homeI'm scared and tiredBut can't really sleepI can't …
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Hugbook
Hug
Thank the Lord! I'm so happy to hear that :-) Take a look at the groups Beyond Scars and Door of Hope 4 Teens, I'm an admin on Door of Hope. I think you would really like the groups :-) Message me anytime you need to... Have a good night and God Bless!!!
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Hug
I hope this isn't too late... I wanted to let you know that running away will do more harm to you than good. Please message me if you ever need to talk.
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Photos
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Support Groups
Close Self-Injury
Treatments
- Psychotherapy Not Working
- I am afraid to talk.
- Rubber Bands Somewhat Helpful
- I still made a mark.. and my wrist was swollen
- Squeezing Ice Not Working
- at all
- Zoloft Not Working
- I dont see a difference
- Wellbutrin Not Working
- I dont see a difference.
Close Depression - Teen
Because I am a teen with depression?
Treatments
- Art Somewhat Helpful
- It's fun. But eventually I run out of ideas of what to draw and my parent's get upset and mad over what I draw.
- Music Working / Worked
- Paxil Not Working
- I took this before and afterwords I cant remember anything while i was on it.
- Pets Working / Worked
- I love my dog.. but if something happened i couldn't live... :(
- Positive Thinking Not Working
- They are fake and they are lies. whats positive about life?
- Psychotherapy Not Working
- Doesn't help either way really.
- Talking Not Working
- Im shy and i am scared to talk.
- Writing Working / Worked
- its helping a bit
- Zoloft Somewhat Helpful
- Not really. when i first started taking it it helped me lose weight but then i gained it back. im off it now.
- Topamax Working / Worked
- Well i just started taking it yesterday but I have really cut down on my food intake. 25 mg twice a day. on the medication site it says a side effect would be pin prick feeling in the arms and legs i have that but i feel it in the face too.
