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DeafEskie 
5:02am, June 25, 2009
Thats right....i am so ready to just CRY. And I mean a REAL cry. Thats how FRUSTRATED I am. I don't even know where to start. Just vented it all out on a good friend of mine. Don't really feel like venting it all out all over again....but instead I will write about how I FEEL....
Tonight I am feeling TIRED, STRESSED, drained, exhausted, frustrated (with Mom), fed up with a red pit bull that keeps being allowed to run loose all over the darn neighborhood,frustrated with a friend that works with me as my direct care staff not doing all of the things I want her to do each day....and many more things. To make a long story short Mom is a "perfectionist". I am NOT....... I downright feel "trampled upon" or "not listened to"!
At least ONE good thing today!!!! That was.... we took Meriko my little deaf-blind Eskie/Bull Terrier/Fox terrier mix to the eye doc today, and she got an "A"! Does not have to go back again for a year. Just haffa keep on using the same eye drops twice a day. That was the best news I have had in a LONG time.... (Meriko was born deaf-blind... she is a "lethal white" or albino dog....)
I think I am gonna just CHILL this weekend. And NO I am NOT using the bipap. I am so ready to just GIVE UP on that. Will tell this to the psychiatrist on Monday. I feel need to stop, take a break, step back, then start all over again later. My back hurts, have had a headache all day probably from the extreme heat....and being on the go go go go go...I am just totally utterly exhausted. Will probably just "hide" this weekend. Need time all to myself. I am to the point where I even feel like throwing in the towel on learning new crafts--its just getting too damn expensive....sighs AND I AM SICK AND TIRED OF MOM HARPING ON SO MANY THINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SIGHS... I need some SANITY people..... could really use some support. I want to succeed in life on things and I am really TICKED OFF that things are taking so long to get there. My direct care aide really made me mad yesterday when she said "you are a LONNNGGG way from being able to work again". I felt like SLAPPING her she had no business saying that. She's not a counselor or a social worker... who is she to judge????? SIGHS....... Good night everyone... I hope some of you can understand or relate to all this nonsense........
