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Will2M 
10:22am, November 10, 2009
So here's the deal, at the minute i'm at university training to become a nurse. This is all i've wanted to do since I was 15, but I don't know why, it's just something I was drawn to and since i've spent most of my life caring for my grandparents and mum it seemed like the logical step for me to have a career in nursing.
Now i'm off on medical leave i've had time to think about things and have realised that I don't actually enjoy nursing or get any satisfaction from doing it, this might be because of the depression since I don't really enjoy doing anything or maybe it's not the job for me. I've always liked animals and have been thinking about veterinary nursing instead, however as always there are a few problems with this...
1. The only universities that offer the course are in england/scotland which means i'd not only have to move away from home to study but to another country. Realistically this isn't an option for me at the minute because i'm really needed at home to care for my grandparents and now that my granda is terminally ill I would never leave his side anyway.
2. Considering how i'm feeling at the minute I couldn't trust myself being away from home, if the opportunity came along i'd kill myself without hesitation since my family wouldn't be nearby to stop me or find me afterwards.This would change if my depression can be cured.
3. I think my family would be really disappointed in me as i'd be dropping out of one of the top universities in the UK, moving away from them and giving up a career in a real profession to look after animals instead. My family and everyone at church are always telling me that i'm 'cut out' to be a nurse and that i'd make a really good nurse, how can I tell them that i'm just giving up?
4. Is it worth sacrificing a job where I would be secure, have hundreds of options after qualifying, have a good salary and most of all a job caring for people during a difficult time in their lives?
I can be financially secure and probably unhappy as a nurse on the wards or follow the dream and become a veterinary nurse instead. As the title says I really don't know what to do!!!
Comments
I understand exactly what you mean but its different. My family thinks I am extremely smart and gonna graduate next year. But its not gonna happen because I dont have all the credits i need. I havent been able to tell them the truth because my family and church folk can be a little stubborn and what not.
I am currently working with children. I work part time and I "love" it. I mean I love children.... To the point, many things come up in our lives. We can be happy or miserable. Its bound to happen. But whose to say that you will be happy in the veterinary field? You seem happy about it now. And your not happy with nursing well, why not be a doctors assistant. Not sure if there is any difference but what I am saying is dont just do something because people will be disappointed because many times in life we are going to disappoint ourselves as well as others. Think of it this way, there are two roads. You have an idea of what they seem like from the view but they can change along the way. Because of the long term...
Hope that helps.. =)
ThatOneGurl
You're very wise for your age
Will2M
Thanks! I get that alot though I act sooooooooo immature...at time
when appropriate =)
ThatOneGurl
Will, follow your heart on what you want to do with your life. It is your life, nobody elses. What it all boils down to is you must please yourself first. I know that be difficult for a natural caregiver as we are wired to make others happy, but it is crucial for us to do lest we spend our lives in misery serving the wrong masters. And what makes you believe that a veterinary nurse is not a "real" profession? Animals are just as deserving of proper and compassionate care as humans (more so than some humans, imo). You may find that once you are doing what you came to this life to do, your depression will be much more manageable. Blessings to you.
taowalker
I know this may be a difficult question to answer but do you want to nurse your grandfather or do you feel it is your duty to do it? If it is something you want to do then why not stay at home, help your family, finish your degree and get better. Then if you still want to be a vetinary nurse leave home and do the course. You are making such an effort to get well that in 6 months or a year you will be able to live on your own and then, having done both courses, you can choose. I always tell my kids that exams and education are all about choice, if you've got them you can choose what you do not just do something because it's all you have open to you. My daughter has applied for a change of course this year from art and design to animal science - she changed her mind about which way she wanted her life to go and that's fine with me (she is passionate about animal care like you).I've never understood how you're supposed to know at 18 what you want to do for the rest of your life - I still can't make my mind up! To change your mind isn't letting people down, parents want their children to be happy above all else and should be glad that you have grown confident enough to make your own choices. Hugs xx
leeigh
I want to do it but it is also my duty to care for my grandparents, there's only myself and my mum to do it since I have no siblings, aunts, uncles or cousins. There's just the four of us and to be honest I would feel really guilty and selfish if I left home at the minute. I haven't made my decision yet although I told my mum how I was feeling and she said not to rush back to nursing or rush away to do veterninary nursing, just to get myself better first and not worry about it. Easier said than done but i'm trying my best. Thanks for your reply leeigh.
Will2M