a long time
November 8, 2009 1:14pm
So 2009 has definitely been the worst year of my life.
I'm not go to go into a rant about why....suffice to say that I am back on here now …
SweetMarie
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About Me
SweetMarie
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About Me
I have 3 kids. Was married for ten years. And I thought it was a good marriage, not the best, but solid. I am a very passionate person about the things that I love and matter to me, both a vice and a virtue about my character. I am normally a very strong and secure person. A broken heart has a way of completely shattering your ego I suppose. My life hit rock bottom when he left, and I am climbing my way back up. I know it's a process; it feels more like a jail term. I used to be a socialite with a zesty life. Then I met and married the man I thought was my best friend in life. But I was wrong. He said and did all the right things. We had achieved so much and slowly, gradually his drinking got worse. His neglect and never coming home got worse. Then one day, just before Christmas two years ago he told me he didn't love me and never did. It's so hard to believe when you look back. A few short months after he left things started to spiral downward for me. I discovered that my x had not only broken my heart, but my health as well. He gave me VD, a disease (HPV) which caused me to have 3rd degree Cervical Cancer. On top of all the emotional pain he put me through, he forced me into two unnecessary surgeries. Now, in 2009, my father passed away abruptly, no warning. Some thought it was from sadness from my life. I hope not. I live with guilt everyday wondering if something my life compromised his longevity. And recently, just a week ago, one of my closes friends died from a stroke. The same week my x announced his engagement to the homewrecker he had the affair with for so many years, someone whom worked directly for him. Now I am faced with the dilemma of my life: how do I move past all the hate I have in my heart for a man I once passionately loved, to be there for my mother, my children, and most importantly myself. Every day is a struggle with no job, very few emotional enablers, and a stubborn soul that will just not give up. I won't let the bastard win. I have to find a way to prove to everyone that I am better, beautiful and more deserving of love and happiness than him.
I have 3 kids. Was married for ten years. And I thought it was a good marriage, not the best, but solid. I am a very passionate person about the things that I love and matter to me, both a vice and a virtue about my character. I am normally a very strong and secure person. A broken heart has a way of completely shattering your ego I suppose. My life hit rock bottom when he left, and I am climbing my way back up. I know it's a process; it feels more like a jail term. I used to be a socialite with
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Interests
I love to cook, work out at the gym, coach and play soccer, bike riding, reading, movies, and travel. I want to be full of life again, like I was years before. I am training for my first triathlon in June 2008 (was great and finished strong). I want to feel like a winner again. I love live music and watching bands at my local spot. I'm a good mom and being with my kids, caring and nurturing them makes me feel good and gives me hope for the future. I love my cottage and the outdoors. I love to swim, canoe and fish. I'm pretty good with power tools also. Not a typical girly girl. Abandonement has a way of making you do things and accomplish things out of necessity.
I love to cook, work out at the gym, coach and play soccer, bike riding, reading, movies, and travel.
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Recent Activity
November 8
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SweetMarie wrote a journal entry updating their hit the happiness HIGH goal 1:14pm
So 2009 has definitely been the worst year of my life. I'm not go to go into a rant about why....suffice…
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SweetMarie changed their mood to Horrible 1:14pm
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SweetMarie and ENDGAME are now friends 12:28pm
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SweetMarie and jarrettg are now friends 12:28pm
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SweetMarie and pankaj147 are now friends 12:28pm
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Journal
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This entry is private
This entry is private
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Journal Entry for April 22, 2008
April 22, 2008 10:24am
Dear Friends,
This weekend was somewhat strange for me. I went up north to my cottage, another tree had fallen and it took out part of my …
This entry is private
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Hugbook
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Flower
greetings,dr.pankaj from india...read ur story..feel sorry but at the same time wud like to tell ya m der weneva u require a shoulder to rest on share evrythin
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Merry Christmas!
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hey you been okay? hugs and prayers your way... -bella
Flower
Hey friend. Did you complete the sports event? How are you? Feeling better, seeing anyone? Email if you see this! Hugs, Rhonda
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Come and have a look at Our Support Group http://dailystrength.org/groups/su...
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Photos
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Support Groups
Close Fitness Goals
Type: Be the best you can beI have always been a healthy person. After babymaking I had a hard time getting back into fitness. But now after 3 years I can say I am really proud of where I am. I have 3 kids, twins age 8 and a 10 year old. Joining the gym and hiring a trainer was the best decision I had ever made. Tim is still working with me and I am finding his teachings, combined with my personal pain from this separation is helping me cope, not all the time, but some of the time.
Treatments
- Running Working / Worked
- I coach kids sports. I train. I work in the food industry, and I am a corporate trainer.
- Elliptical Trainer Working / Worked
- Eliptical is the best machine for any and every body type. I focuses on all kinds of different areas. Weights are an integral part of any goal, big or small.
Close Breakups & Divorce
I've been married for ten years. What I thought was a decent marriage, not without its typical issues, turned out to be a lie. He is going thru a depression. All the while, absent from the house, absent from the kids. Then he decides, I don't want this relationship or this marriage anymore. I want out. I'm thrown completely and totally off kilter. I am devastated. I tried twice to take my own life. And I can't even do it. So here I am, emotionally stranded, as he lives in the basement.
Treatments
- Couples Counseling Working / Worked
- One session and he won't go back.
- Love Working / Worked
- I tried to make him remember all of the good times, and the way we used to be.
- Support from Friends & Family Working / Worked
- Some has helped, some has hurt.
- Time Working / Worked
- It's been 4 months. And the problem is that he is still living in the basement.
Open Cervical Cancer
I was diagnosed with HPV in my early 20's. During a routine pap they found a growth in my Cervix which turned out to be Cancerous. My doctor suggested I have a baby sooner than later as a means to reduce the possiblity of another flare. She said that the growth was small and no big deal. Ten years later after my husband announced that he wanted out of our marriage, during another routine pap, they found another growth. Now what?
Open Infidelity
3 Days before Xmas last year my husband announced that he was not happy with me and wanted out. Now, months later I am starting to believe there is someone else in his life that he is involved with and it's not me.
Treatments
- Couples Counseling Not Working
- He only went to one session and then quit.
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Groups
