Journal

It's been tough.  It's been a struggle, and I fear that my entire life will be.  But I've learned though all this that Life is taken Day by Day!  I go to work, I come home, I have a beer, eat some dinner, go to sleep... and I do it over and over and like a horse with blinders on, and get to and from. 

I find that the days off that I have, when there is nothing to do, is the toughest.  So, I rarely spend time at home on my days off.  I drive, I spend money I don't have, I keep myself busy... it's better than being stagnant and will keep my thought process in check.

There are daily reminders and triggers for me and my drug use.  I work through them, and that's why I feel as if my daily life is like a horse with blinders on.  Routine?  Maybe! But routine with no drugs I'll take any day... :-)

I've been told by my therapist that through this process of sobriety, I would loose friends and gain friends along the way.  It's true...

"Friends"... It all depends on the definition of that word.  True friends would never put pressure on you and real friends will be by you side through thick and thin, never judge you, and show you love as much as your family would.

I thank all of you both near and far, for being my true friends!