Rac87el's Journal

Well  I got my food stamps back and my medicaid. Thank u god! So that is my good news.

Now for the BS, apparently when I wrote in my last note that my cousin's husband is a dick, it hurt his feelings. Now how he got access to my profile and my notes is suspecious because my profile wont revel any info to strangers until I make them my friends and he is definately not on my friends list. So 1 of 2 things happened, either 1 of my 3 cousins that live in that house that are on my friends list, read the note and decided to get some shit started by showing it to him. Or 2 he decided to snoop and got into his wifes account without her knowing.

So now according to what my mom is telling and what my cousin told her, that I am never ever allowed back at the house and no my cat cant come stay. No one could call me and tell me this, I had to find out by him sending me nasty text messages telling me to "come to my house and I'll show u how big of a dick I can be!" Now my mom is telling me all this bs about slander blah blah blah. i never mentioned his name in the note and when I was at his house I was nothing but respectful to him and he started acting really funky towards me like he couldnt wait to be rid of me. And I found out from my cousin and my mom that he was talking shit about me and I hadnt done shit to him! And on top of that he treats my cousin and her kids like shit and she has a heart condition and they constantly fight and she tells me how he talks to her bad and everything.

Plus the note was written as a way of venting and was private so only my friends on here could see it so someone has been stirring the pot to get shit going. Its funny this shit happened the night before I was supposed to go down there. But its cool, because I didnt lie on him, I told the truth he is a dick and my cousin can testify to that, and I have never disrespected him to his face or in his home and I never said anything bad about him until he started bad mouthing me. So fuck him I'm done, I dont need to take my kitten to his house, I'm getting a new apt on campus where I can keep my kitty and its cheaper than the 1 i'm in now. And this whole "Come to my house" bs, WHATEVER! How the fuck did u get my number when I never gave it to u? that is what I have been wondering all night. so some 2 faced bs is going on in his house and I'm glad im out of the mess. I still love my cousin and her kids so if they want to visit they can call me or come to my apt. But I know when i find out who's starting shit, they are getting cut out of my life too because I dont have the time, patience or strength to deal with drama. I'm good and god takes care of me and carries me thru obstacles that happen in my life and this minor blip is already been overcome. Thank you god for the help!

So now that I have that off of my chest, I feel much better and dont care if anyone gets pissed about it, if they dont like it , quit reading my notes or delete me. Thats all I got to say about it. But i'm really glad i'm getting an apt that i can keep my baby son in. It will be nice to let him lounge in the window in the sun without worrying about someone seeing him and me getting in trouble. Also I wont have to turn the tv up real loud when I leave so that others wont hear him meowing and report me. The only bad thing is in the new apt I will have to pay for my own internet so hopefully I can get a discount since im a student and living in their housing.

Well here is what i have been up to lately. I went shopping at the dollar tree a couple days ago for christmas and spent $64, man I was in there for almost 3 hours and had to sit in the middle of the aisles 5 times because of pain and the entire time I was sweating profusely and hurting, but when I was done I felt like I had accomplished something and had satiated my retail therapy need. I swear the Dollar tree is great,  u can go in there for 1 thing and always come out with alot more and u cant complain because everything is a dollar and they have some nice stuff in there. i go there to make spa baskets for some of the girls in my family and different odds and ends that I need. I actually have most of my christmas shopping done. I only have 3 people left to buy for. Also from 11pm last night until 5am this morning i was wrapping christmas presents! I got them all wrapped and the mess most of the way cleaned up.

I love christmas its my favorite holiday because I get to go crazy and splurge on spoiling my loved ones. I love gift giving at christmas, its the look on the person's face when they open the present and its something that they love and really wanted, its the greatest feeling for me. I just like giving in general, during the holidays I always donate to salvation army bell ringers with a couple dollars everytime I see them and I buy toys for the toys for tots program and usually if i see a charity stickers at the counters of grocery stores I will buy them and I also do it at the fast food resteraunts too. I wish I was rich because I would donate alot more money and things, and i know what its like to not know when your next meal is coming and to be struggling, and it breaks my heart to know that there are children out there that have to go thru that.

So that is one of the reasons I want to become a doctor because I know doctors make alot of money and besides helping people heal, I would be able to start my own charity programs that wouldnt have the restrictions that the governments has on their programs. I would help anyone that needed it and I would also want to start a job training program that would help people learn skills to get a job and would help them with their bills until they got thru the program and then when they graduated I would get them placed in a job either in my practice working for me or in nearby hospitals and businesses. I also hope that when I become a doctor that I can adopt children that nobody else wants such as children with disabilities, teenagers or abused children. I would have a large home with the best nannies, nurses etc to care for the children while I am working and then after work I would come home to my kids and spend time with them and give them all the love in my heart and raise them to be good people and to know that they can do anything if they put their mind to it and believe in god. I also would like to work on creating and finding medicines that can cure and prevent major diseases such as Aids, Cancer and MRSA.

I know I have a good heart and that its very tender to others and their needs. I always try to help others out the best that I can, wether its advice or if they need some money or help fixing a problem of some sort, i'm there for my friends and family and I tend to put others first and I know I'm not supposed to do that all the time but that is how I am. I know to some the goals and dreams that I have seem unrealistic and hopelessly romantic. For example I would love to end world hunger, poverty and eradicate aids! But that is just me, I want to help change the world and when I leave earth I want to know that I contributed in some way to it. But until I get rich I will do what I can such as my mom's fiance is getting out of prison in a few days. My mom told me that all his stuff was triffled thru at his moms house and stuff was stolen, so I went out and I bought him a jacket, hat, gloves, scarf and 3 nice smelling bottles of cologne from the dollar store, so that he would atleast be able to go out in the cold and not completely freeze since his coat was one of the things that was stolen.

But thats just me, I know today is going to be busy and hectic. I need to finish cleaning my apt up because my family is coming to my halloween get together tomorrow. Also I need to call the apt office and tell them I will take that apt and start packing and then I have to go to the grocery store to get the digiorno pizzas and snacks for tomorrow. All tomorrow consists of is were having a horror movie marathon and gonna eat pizza and snacks and just chill. Its nice to have a good time and relax without no drama caused by alcohal or drugs, and i definately dont allow that kind of stuff at my house! So far I know its going to be me, my mom and my sister, but a few more family is bound to come over too. So its going to be alot of fun!

The other thing I have to do is get caught up on all my school work. I am so behind in my online courses because of all the infections, the trips to the ER and the drama. But i know if I work really hard I can get caught up quick.I just hope this move will go smoothly and that it wont take long to turn my internet on there.

I really cant believe it that day aftr tomorrow is Nov 1st. Where has this year gone? Nov is going to be a busy month for me, I already have 7 doctors appts all to different doctors and specialists. The one i'm looking forward to the most is on the 11th because I'm getting my Mirena put in. The Mirena is a 5 yrs birthcontrol IUD that stays in your uterus. I'm getting mine done the same time as my pap and this device is really going to help me deal with my PCOS. It will help regulate my hormones and stop me from having agonizing periods from hell. My doctors said I might spot for a day or 2 but in a year my periods would completely stop. Sorry to the men reading this, I'm not trying to gross u out just stating the facts here.

Yesterday I applied for a grant to cover my dental work and found out that they want to count my financial aid against me as income even though all the major government agencies like dhs and ssa dont count Financial aid as income for me. So i doube that im e even going to get it, but U of M
s dental school have a sliding fee scale and will work with me but I know that with all the work that I need done that I'm looking at a grand to fix my teeth. Sigh but it has to be done before the bacteria starts attacking my heart and dont need that with the tachycardia i'm deaing with.

But thats basically it right now, just alot going on in my mind and with my body. but will keep everyone updated and not stay away from facebook and my friends. I love u all, please continue to pray for me and for my family especially my cousin Cathy because she needs to get away from the drama and to get her heart regulated and her auto immune disease under control.

Also any advice would be greatly appreciated and comments too.

Big hugs! Rachel