jkthaley's Journal

My daughter and I were just in the barn going about our everyday life when all of a sudden a loud and hard thunderstorm hit.  I tried to miss its wrath by hurrying and getting in the house, but no such luck.  I was trying so hard to keep Haley calm and dry while I got soaked.  My umbrella literally snapped and is broken; it is now not a J shape but more of a U as Haley put it.  However, I got her out of the car and got her umbrella and had her run to safety while I shut the door, the gate, and ran in the cold gushes that were somehow not coming down up and down, but side to side.  When we got into the house, Haley said, “Mommy, I am dry. Thank you.” and the proceeded to laugh at me and my soaked appearance. Sometimes we can not miss the thunderstorms of our lives as hard as we try.  You can be cautious and try to plan, but they are going to happen. My aunt said the news said it wasn’t supposed to storm until the afternoon, but it had hit much earlier and very hard. We all have thunderstorms going on in our lives, as well.  From time to time, it may be hard to see the rainbow and sun, but trying to find the silver lining in our storm clouds can make things easier. 

It made me really think about life and my relationship with my Lord as it has been something that has been on my mind as I have felt like I am in the middle of a scary thunderstorm for quite some time.  The Lord is there keeping me safe as I try my darndest with Haley to keep her safe and dry, but honestly someday, even when I am there, she is going to get wet. I think as a parent, we all want our children to stay dry and do not want them to ever be afraid although we all know they will someday face dark clouds someday.  One of the hardest parts of going through my storm is knowing that I could not keep my son safe in me or take care of him while he was with me for the short period of time while that was my job and that my body may have actually caused his demise.  However, I know that the Lord wiped away his tears and he is safe beyond what I can imagine and feels warm and comfortable in a way that my mind can not wrap around.  He is living in the rainbow, wrapped in beauty with my MiMi, PapaJoe, grandma, and Pappaw, as well as Jay’s mom and brothers John and Paul.  He will never have to feel the rain or heart the thunder in life’s trials. 

Sometimes when storms hit, HE may have to let me get sprinkled on or even sometimes soaked to the bone because of my choices and the way our lives go, but HE is always there, unlike my umbrella, to dry me off and comfort me.  I may sometimes feel like I should run and hide or jump with fright when the thunder rolls, but he is there with me telling me it will be alright and no matter how much rain or lightning happens, he is there with me keeping me safe.  I don’t know why we all feel afraid or maybe we just don’t like to go through the discomfort of the storm itself.  When we think that a storm is coming, we worry even though the Bible tells us we should not worry, but put faith upon his name.  Of course, I tell Haley that I am here and everything is okay and she is still afraid of the storm.  All of this thinking and symbolism from one little storm….

It also made me think of that umbrella that I was relying on heavily to keep me as dry as possible before I got the porch.  Sometimes people we think we can rely on or even material things we feel comfortable with in our life let us down or break.  It is just the way the umbrella is made, too.  However, we should always remember to no let it affect our thinking. I will buy another umbrella even though that one broke and I will trust people even though they have let me down or not been as strong for me as I thought they should be in my storm.