MonaJean

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  Flower

  From Teeberrie September 22

  Flowers for you. I hope you are doing well.

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  Hug

  From swandy52 June 13

  I'm so sorry you are going through this. You are right, your girl is so young. 19 and married. Whew. I can't imagine.
  
  Well, when 'the honeymoon is over' and reality sets in and she hits 'the rough spots in the road' she will turn to you for love and comfort.
  
  Maybe she's acting out because she doesn't know what to do with her feelings? ... or maybe she doesn't know her options? i.e. counseling?
  
  Well, you sound like a wonderful mom. Your daughter is lucky that she has you. It might take a while, but she will come back to you. I promise.
  
  May you have a blessed tomorrow. :)
  
  

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  Hug

  From innerdiscord June 12

  Sorry to hear the troubles you are going through with your daughter

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  Hug

  From swandy52 June 10

  Hi MonaJean,
  
  I know this sounds weird...but my daughter never caused me a moments grief in high school and during her 5 years at the university.
  
  I have had one thing after another happen to me for too many years...none of these things are my fault.
  
  About a year ago my daughter acted so mean to me. I did not react to her, rather I 'acted' secrectly wanting to die from heartbreak and I wanted to scream at her...but I didn't.
  
  Then, almost one year later she has changed back to her old self.
  
  I think she was trying to separate from me and become automous. And in 'testing me' she found I still loved her and I didn't scream at her. I slammed my door many times, but thanks be to God, I did not lower myself to her level.
  
  We do not have the relationship we once had. I recognize she is an adult and it is natural for our kids to separate from parents. I think my daughter used me as a sounding board and continued to test my love as a mother. I was consistant. Not saying I never showed anger, I did. But I had reparented myself before my kids were born and know sometimes our kids act mean to us because they need to vent and they know our love is unconditional.
  
  Your daughter is so young. Our brains are not fully developed until about age 26. Your daughter will come back to you. She's got a lotta growing up to do since she is only 20.
  
  Unless a parent has caused harm to their child...the child will return, especially when they have children.
  
  Also, maybe your daughter has learned how to cook. Their radar is always 'on' and they really want us to accept them as individuals and they watch for the smallest sign of rejection. It's all just part of growing up and wanting to become independent.
  
  Being a parent is the hardest job in the world and when children act thankless and hurt us, it feels unbearable. Both of my kids were abandoned by their dad and he sends them a check for $100 for their birthday and Christmas. My ex's wife sends a generic card and signs it 'Dad & S'. So I am the parent that is here for them always.
  
  Seriously, give your daughter her space. "Act" by never being harsh and showing unconditional love at all times.
  
  If she is mean to you, tell her your feelings are hurt when she says and does XYZ.
  
  She should know when you feel hurt.
  
  Both my kids have 'tested' me. Both have come back to me.
  
  We have to let our kids go and 'cut the cord' and look to God for what He wants you to do now that you have an 'empty nest.'
  
  I am moving out of state next May. I realized last year when both my kids 'acted out'...I have done my very best being a mom and now it is my turn to grow emotionally and spiritually for the remainder of my life under Heaven.
  
  God's peace be with you.

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  Ray of Sunshine

  From bobteske June 8

  Thanks

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