sarahnmcg's Journal

 I just found out yesterday that I am an idiot. My husband and I went to the book store to look around and I cam a crossed the "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Fibromyalgia" (2nd Edition). I picked it up just to see chat the chapter titles where. The second chapter title smashed into me like a ton of bricks. I don't remember the exact wording, but it siad something along the lines of "Accepting the Diagnosis" and it talked about going through the stages of acceptance.

 At that moment I realized that I haven yet excepted my diagnosis. I accepted the label of being someone with Fibromyalgia, but not all that the diagnosis includes. I have been feeling so worthless lately that I came closed to ending my life more than once. It's all because I haven't accepted that I can't do everything I want to do in the time I want it to get done like I used to. I'm luck to get done one thing that needs to be done in a day let alone what I want to do.

 I know I need to accept it, but I'm finding it impossible. I've got to before I get comsumed by the grief of losing myself.