WolfAngle's Journal

WTF?!?!

i dont know what just happened. i mean i was talking to kaz an suddenly her whole persona changed and she turned to me an yelled at me saying we cant be friends any more. an she stormed off. i dont know what happened. i called after her asking what she meant and she said after 94 days till then not to bother. she kept muttering to herself an said "just like he said it would happen" an then well thats when she ended it with me. i dont think she really knew i was there half the time.

what i mean by her persona change, she was no longer the shy, quiet type who avoided peoples eyes an just looked out of place, no she turned savage, she seemed to be over thinking something, had this mission of what ever she had to do, an she stared at people or well gave them a death stare. looks killed i'm sure a lot would be dead. an i dont know if i was imagining it or what but this shadow sorta fall over her. the only thing that never changed were her eyes. you could see the pain an the hurt an the fact she never wanted to do it but she did. hod her eyes, just one thing i cant take of her, they are the only things that actually give her away. she can fake all the right emotions in the world but take a look in her eyes an you see it all. i'm not the only one who has noticed this, most her friends notice it.

i dont know what i did. all this happened yesterday (06/27/2009) and so fast to. she refused to give me an explanation but she did look like she was in pain, not physical pain but mentally and i dont think spiritually she is in the right place either, i think her energy as she calls it has gone off balanced an turned a nasty colour. is it possible her "voice" told her to act like this? i mean is it possible she is giving in to him? i mean jas said she was fine but she's good at acting about how she really is, she's had to since she was a toddler, she's very distant with her emotions an the few who do know or get to see the real her seem to leave her. i dont know why because i dont think i see it, i mean some times i see her, but a lot of the time she hides who she is. like she is afraid of something. all i know is that this "voice" of her is back and she is seeing everyone she most cares about and plans to stop talking to them once she has seen them so she does not hurt them but i just got a message from jas who said kaz has now ended it with 4 people already an thats all in a matter of 2 days. do you think this gets worse? an if so how much worse? i'm going to be there for her but i think i need to know what i am up against. i'm not taking kaz's friendship break off to heart because i dont think she means it an i'm pretty sure its that "voice" of hers who is telling her to do those things, he's a powerful "voice". she gives up a lot to just protect her friends and family, she's very loyal to them so this type of behaviour is not like her at all an according to jas, she never acts on the defensive side but only when the "voice" is around and when its angry. the "voice" will always make kaz feel the pain if she did something it did not like. its so hard to understand it that i dont think i know half of it, just the tip of it. its such a strange complex thing to understand, its very hard but i'm trying my best for her. she's my friend. an friends stick with each other even if one does not want anything to do with the other. right?