WolfAngle's Journal

in my earlier post i told you how i was going to spend the day with a few friends. well i managed to go through the whole day with out a hitch!  but i did suffer with the pain that very night and these last two days, lol. like kazza says "EDS does not forgive its victims", i think she's on to something there. so i got my parents to invest in a heated blanket and a special wool like mattress cover to add softness. that seems to help with the pain a bit. i know i wont ever get rid of this pain and while its winter here in Australia i'm going to be hurting a lot more then i would in summer but at least i have a few things that can ease the pain even if its for a few hours. see i dont take any medication to ease the pain as i am worried i would become reliant to the pain meds. kazza is on strong pain medication and has to go to the hospital 3 times a day to get injected with a type of pain medication but on her real bad days those dont work at all so she takes other pain medication on top and she's become addicted to them. i dont blame her. the eds is a btcih and kazza dislocates a lot and has many micro tears through out her body. she tore several of her chest muscles just by breathing and i think she's worried that she could tear something in her heart because her heart muscles are so weak at the moment and she's been having a lot of tests done and its not the only organ effected with eds. so she's under a lot of stress because of the eds and i cant possibly imagine the physical pain she is in. compared to me i must just have a body riddled with the flu while she is riddled with broken bones and artharits (SP?). she has been diagnosed with that last week so on top of everything else. so i dont blame her being addicted from the pain meds but she has said she wants to stop them and find a better way because she is sure the meds are screwing around with her system and she wants to live to an old age so she can be cynile (SP?)  to her much younger friends, lol. i suppose because i've seen how being addicted to pain meds can do to you, i guess thats why i dont want any. i would rather feel the pain then become addicted to pain meds but then it doesnt help when someone tries to help you. i've tried to get a disability pension because i physically cant work but when i went to centrelink they said that eds is not a disability and that my condition has not worsen. of course they have not seen what its like for me every day, i use to be able to do long jump and running and now almost most of the time i am bed ridden because of the severe pain and because i have dislocated something. so how is the eds not a physical disability and how has my condition not worsen? kazza also tried but she got rejected for the same reason but she knows a few people who are on the disability pension because they fake things, it really annoys her and gets under her skin, she reasons if you can still walk every day then you have no reason to go on the disability pension because your still capable, some times she relys on her parents to do everything for her from washing her to changing her. at least one day a week she will land in the A&E for her eds or heart. she's lucky she can walk but some days she only manages a few mere steps before she falls down in pain. so why cant she get it either? why do these people who lie about things get it? there was this one person i saw who got it who claimed they had severe pain every day and could not get out of bed at all or walk but when you looked at her she was out of her bed, hopping on one foot an the other, full of energy and she had no walking aid to help her and you want to know what? she got it but when i went in my wheelchair because at the time i did severe damage they refused me. they said "go on the dole". i can understand why kazza gets frustrated at people who try to cheat the system, who are still able bodied and able to find work but still they have to go and cheat the system because they are to lazy to try and find work. i guess i am lucky both my parents get pay and i can live off of them for a while but kazza cant, her doctors are very expensive, she said that if she got the disability pension it would go to all her medical needs and she wouldn't see a cent of it nor would she want to because at the moment her family are in great debts because of all the medical bills that are pilling on to them. an she just wants to help them but she cant because the system does not help the people are not bodied (kazza cant do much these days, when she is on the computer she lands up with several dislocated figures, when she writes she dislocates her wrist, fingers and shoulder, when she stands for a tad to long she falls down because she dislocated something or in great pain, she cant  lie down for long, you get the idea thats why she cant look for work, she has tried but people say they cant take her because she is health hazard for them)  but they are able to help the people who are bodied and can still look for work. i understand that these are really hard times but then they can go on the dole and not take the disability pension from people who really need it. i believe the reason they dont want to go on the dole is because they are to lazy to look for work. see here in australia when you go on to the dole you have to look for work and then you get paid once you give proof that you looked for work and are unable to get it and if you dont look for work then you dont get paid. so these people who are bodied and able to look for work but go get the disablity pension make it harder for us who do have a physical disability and are lazy people who are arragant people who dont deserve any money from the goverment because all they can think about is ways to cheat the system and not do anything to get the money, they expect to get everything for free when everything in this world is not for free. they are dumb, stupid, lazy, arragant and selfish people. if any of my friends were like that not only would i give them a piece of my mind but i would not want anything to do with them since i dont assosiate myself with people like that. i must go now, my fingers are starting to hurt much to much.