Enough?
July 13, 2009 7:26am
Not enough
Not ever
or
Just barely.
When will I
be enoughfor me?
Why not now?
My head screams to me
not enough.
Not good enough
not pretty enough
not thin …
Progress
15 %
fatesfan 
8:31am, October 18, 2009
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About Me
fatesfan
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Journal
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Pain (may trigger)
June 27, 2009 9:10am
Pain
Childlike
in its need
frightful
in its fear
buzzing in its breath
Do you understand?
Can you feel it?
Will you run?
They always …
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Feeling like exercise
June 22, 2009 6:29am
Since starting this half-hospital program and radically changing my meds per a nerw dr, I have felt like doing some form of exercise almost every …
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Isolation
June 14, 2009 9:42am
Isolation
So desired
So unhealthy
Why must I
interact
play nice
smile and wave?
I want to scream from the rooftops
HEY!
CAN ANYBODY HEAR ME?
I FEEL SO ALONE
I …
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Mental help
June 9, 2009 6:55am
So, here's what I haven't been saying, and why I haven't been on as often. I started a half-hospital program last Thursday through the …
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Hugbook
Little Love
im soooo sorry i havent been around much. been goin through alot latley. hope u are well. luv to ya
Hug
I am so sorry for what you have been through. I too suffer from anxiety to full blown panic attacks. Started out of the blue about 20 yrs ago. No PTSD or family history of panic attacks. Dr says it is my bodies way of releasing stress (whether I realize I'm stressed or not). I've been on low dose of Xanax for several yrs and it truly helps my axiety and keeps down the full blown panic attacks. Where in New York do you live Just curious. I love New York and go threre every summer. I am leaving tomorrow for New York..I always stay in Manhattan...love Times Square ! Staying 5 days. Hope all goes well for you.. I'm here for you ! HUGS
Hug
Sending to all my sister survivors: one of my all time favorite songs,
Shaking the Tree-Peter Gabriel
We are shaking the tree...
Waiting your time, dreaming of a better life
Waiting your time, so much more than just a wife
You dont have to do what your mother has done, she has done
This is your life, this new life has begun
Its your day - a womans day
Its your day - a womans day
Turning the tide, you are on the incoming wave
Turning the tide, you know you are nobodys slave
Find your brothers and sisters
Who can hear all the truth in what you say
They can support you when youre on your way
Its your day - a womans day
Its your day - a womans day
We are shaking the tree...
Theres nothing to gain when theres nothing to be lost
Theres nothing to gain if you stay behind and count the cost
Make a decision that you can be who you can be, you can be
Tasting the fruit, come to the liberly(? ) tree
Its your day - a womans day
Its your day - a womans day
Changing your ways, changing those surrounding you
Changing your ways, more than any man can do
Open your heart, show him the anger and pain, so you heal
Maybe hes looking for his womanly side, make him feel
You had to be so strong
And you do nothing wrong, nothing wrong at all
Were gonna to break it down
We have to shake it down, shake it all around
We are shaking the tree...-
I’m With You
When you walk through a storm hold your head up high
And don't be afraid of the dark.
At the end of a storm is a golden sky
And the sweet silver song of a lark.
Walk on through the wind,
Walk on through the rain,
Tho' your dreams be tossed and blown.
Walk on, walk on with hope in your heart
And you'll never walk alone,
You'll never, ever walk alone.
Walk on, walk on with hope in your heart
And you'll never walk alone,
You'll never, ever walk alone. -
Hug
Here's a magic hug, pass it along!
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Goals
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Support Groups
Close Incest Survivors
Sexually abused by a close male cousin for most of my childhood, the abuse stopped when I was a teenager. My family did not believe that it was continual, that it was just an "isolated incedent" when I was 5 and my cousin was 15. I am just facing the abuse at 40. It's difficult, but life-changing, thankfully.
Treatments
- EMDR Working / Worked
- Had about 7 EMDR sessions with a fantastic therapist that I was doing inner child work with, effective, but the treatments had to stop as I took on a full-time job.
- Xanax Not Working
- The panic attacks became too large to have this work
- Yoga Working / Worked
- I am able to connect with my own body and have learned through yoga how to connect with my own breath.
- Klonopin Working / Worked
- Seems to be working still feel panic daily but not to the extreme degree that I did before.
- Prozac Working / Worked
- Wow seems to really be working
Close Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
I am dealing with PTSD due to the sexual abuse I endured from the ages of 5 to 15 from my cousing, 10 years my senior. I am now 40 and have had a hard time managing the chaos in my head.
Treatments
- Art Working / Worked
- Writing, painting
- Cymbalta Not Working
- Doesnt seem to work really stressed. Doctor took me off
- EMDR Too Soon to Tell
- Only went to 7 sessions so far.
- Klonopin Working / Worked
- Seems to take me to a much mellower place, where my head is not racing. Makes me really tired, although that side effect iseems to be lessening.
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- Started back, is creating more fear, but will eventually work
- Talking Working / Worked
- Prozac Working / Worked
- seems to be working well in conjuction with the klonopin
Open Single Parenting
I am a single parent by divorce. I am not in a relationship now and not interested in one. My son means all, but life as a single parent is lonely.
Open Anxiety
Always felt really anxious, high-strung, lots of negative thoughts in my head about others perceptions of me or my own inabilities. Just diagnosed
Treatments
- Breathing Exercises Somewhat Helpful
- Alternate nostril breathing. Helpful when I remember to do it.
- Cymbalta Not Working
- Too soon to tell. Triggered more anxiety
- Klonopin Too Soon to Tell
- Only been on it about 3 days, seems to work fairly well
- Prozac Working / Worked
- Seems to be a good combination with the klonopin not feeling superanxiety prone just tired and stressed.
Open Sexual Abuse
sexual abuse done to me by my male cousin during my childhood and the resulting mis-use of my body that I thought was empowerment as a teenager.
Treatments
- Talking Working / Worked
- Working, just hard to find people to trust
Open Bipolar Disorder
I was just diagnosed with bi-polar. There is a strong family history of it, so I'm not surprised. Strange, but I feel ok with this.
Treatments
- Abilify Working / Worked
- 3 days and really seems to work, but we'll see
Open Depression
Type: Clinical (Major) Depressionsee my other stories
Treatments
- Meditation Working / Worked
- Prozac Working / Worked
