Today was my baby's third birthday, …
Today was my baby's third birthday, he didn't see her at all. I can't begin to understand how he can be so cold.
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1toughcookie 
12:30pm, June 30, 2009
Like a lot of of others lately, I lost my job. Laid off. So I have made some very tough choices. I thought I might take this chance to finish college. But I really need to work. I applied for a position with the state (at a prision) making about 8 g more a year than my previous job. I haven't heard back on any of the jobs that I have applied for. Not one call. School starts in Aug. Should I enroll? I figured a budget soley on my child support. I had to let the Jeep go to make ends meet. I called them to come and get it and they did. I can't afford two trucks. One is paid for so I kept that one. My credit is going to be ruined! But, I will be able to afford the house without a horriable struggle. Sucks, but I will do what I have to do to keep this home. Its not just four walls, its our home. Its where we are safe and happy.
Fucktard has recruited his daughter to help him try to tourture me. Guess what.... its not going to work. She text me a stupid threat.... I told her that there was nothing she could say to me that would mean anything to me now. He thinks he still has control of my emotions. How little does he know.
My best friend Mark has been my rock during this very hard time. He has been supportive and encouraging. And sometimes to full of advice.
My family has been really not much help. Even when I ask for help.
I feel alone again. This is so hard. Making all the choices alone. Sleepless nights. Worry, overwhelming worry.
UPDATED GOALS
Be a beautiful butterfly
Progress 15%
Encouragements: 5
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It seems like our lives are full of trials. When does it ever end? We make due with what we do have. When things do get better, hopefully we remember what those hard times were like and try to prepare for them. We can make...we have for over thirty years now.
MonkeyB0y
The trials in our lives don't ever end. I think that more and more I am able to take a deep breath, do what I can at the moment, and watch for things to work themselves out. It doesn't always happen the way I want, but it DOES always happen. Sometimes the only thing we can do is hang on for the ride and try not to fall off.
Your family may not be measuring up at the moment, but it sounds like you have a very good friend. I wouldn't be making it right now if it weren't for the unbelievable friends I have. I think you have a lot of friends here who have very broad shoulders to rest on. Use them while you catch your breath.
BetrHalf
Damn girl - I'm sorry you're going through this. Any news on the job at the prison?
rote
Nothing yet. I am considering going back to school full time.
1toughcookie