Today was my baby's third birthday, …
Today was my baby's third birthday, he didn't see her at all. I can't begin to understand how he can be so cold.
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1toughcookie 
12:30pm, June 30, 2009
The baby girl is so scared of thunder storms. So last night during the storm, she wanted to call her daddy. So I called him for her. She gets on the phone with him and she is crying for him. Not just crying but she has really huge tears streaming down her face and she sounded so heart broken. I know it hurt him to hear her like that. She was so upset. I felt so bad for calling him. She was fine up until she heard his voice. She misses her daddy.
My dad always said that regaurdless of how bad a parent is, that child will always love them. I'm not saying that is true but for her, I think she only sees her daddy.
She doesn't know the bad things about him. He does love her and she loves him. I think she sees what I saw in him when we first met. I only saw the good, that sparkle in his eyes and that happy smile on his face. I loved him from the first time I saw him. I loved him before I saw the monster in him. And even after that, I still loved him. It broke my heart to hear her crying for her daddy. I would have driven to Raleigh last night to just let her hug him.
I pray she doesn't hate me for leaving him and for not going back to him, for keeping our family broken apart. I take so much blame onto myself. This really breaks my heart. I never wanted to hurt my children.
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You are a wonderful mother. You don't know how to be anything but. She may not completely understand what precipitated your break up, but I don't believe she will ever hate either one of you for what happened. Keep on keeping on, love you.
rote
Perhaps she shouldn't call him when she's so upset. You already know that she'd like him home, so it's just likely to upset her further.
Instead I'd tell her that you'll call him tomorrow, and help her learn other ways to calm down. Drawing pictures, hugging a stuffed animal, pounding a pillow, putting a silly CD (or stuff from utube) on and singing and dancing, are all other things that you can do.
The fact of you divorce and seperation is just a Fact. Don't get guilty, or feel bad about doing what Must be done. Just like getting shots at the doctor, tears may be involved, but it's just something to get through.
Hugs, you Both will learn other ways to get through stuff like this.
patti22
Ummm...what patti said.
MonkeyB0y
I know it breaks your heart but continuing to live with him would not be the answer for her either. She needs to see happiness and joy, not meanness and abuse. My youngest still fells that way about his dad, even knowing about the drugs and his girlfriends. They will always love their daddy even when we wonder how they could.
solongbye
I deal with the same thing daily. My daughter cannot wait to see him or hear from him. They are daddy and that is their special bond. We know the truth and they will one day, too. You have done nothing wrong. You did what was best for your family.
sfsoccermom
All we can do is love them and let them know that the divorce is not their fault....and it seems like you are doing just that. Hang in there and hopefully things will get easier for you and your daughter...
((((((((Hugs)))))))))
Susmar
I would never go back to him. And she wasn't upset when she wanted to call him it was more of just hearing his voice. She hasn't talked to him in almost two weeks but I do understand what Patti is saying. I thought she was ok, that she just wanted to talk to him. I didn't know she would react like that. I am ok with Kenny being out of my life, that is what I have wanted for so long now, but it's still hard to hear her cry for him.
1toughcookie
It's okay. This is an unfortunate by-product of divorce. We hurt our kids. It really, really sucks, but we'd hurt them worse by staying married.
Forgive yourself.
FrankTheGreat
And if you did stay with him, she would see the bad side of him & start to not see him as just her sweet, friendly daddy... She would eventually see the monster in him and then go looking for the same kinda monster when she looked for a boyfriend... That's what I'm goin through with Cort... (I know you have another 10 years to go through this with her, but still a thought)...
I know it's hard to hear your babies (even if they are 18, they are still your babies) cry for their dad... It's just not fair that they treated us like they did...
I'm sorry you and the kids are goin through this... It really ain't fair...
CJnLA