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Mommy614 
10:32am, September 21, 2009
I had a disagreement with my husband's ex yesterday and she will NOT let it go. It is ridiculous to me. My stepkids came home with me from school yesterday, like they do every week, and my stepdaughter pulled out a book she made in class. It's called "My Dad and I..." and the first thing she said to me was "I wrote this book for me REAL Dad and I'm going to give it to him when I get home!" The fact that she said REAL Dad seemed kind of odd to me, but I figured since she has a stepdad that she must have put some thought into the idea of who the book was really for. So, I asked her to read it to me. The book is fill-in-the blank with things like "My Dad and I like to watch..." and "My Dad and I like to go to..." and 4 out of 5 answers were about her stepdad and not her Dad. So, I asked her if she remembered doing these things with her Dad and she said yes. I asked her to describe them to me and she started talking about her stepdad, so I told her that it might hurt her Dad's feelings if she brought him a book about her stepdad. I asked her if she wanted to change the book and give it to her Dad or if she wanted to leave it how it was and she said she wanted to change it and make it about her Dad.
When we got home, I called her Mom and told her that I thought my stepdaughter was a little confused about the Dad/stepdad thing and that I thought that it probably has to do with the fact that their Mom lets the kids call the stepdad "Dad." We've had this conversation numerous times before and she always says that she agrees that they shouldn't call him Dad because my husband is their Dad. The kids call me by my first name and we've always discouraged them from calling me Mom. I am not their mom and I feel that it is disrespectful to have them call me Mom. So, I feel it is disrespectful that they call their stepdad Dad. Their Mom says she agrees, but it has been 2 years and nothing has changed. She says that when she talks to the kids she calls her husband by his name, but only when my stepkids are alone and not with the other siblings that live in their house that really are the stepdad's kids. She says she doesn't want to call him by 2 names when talking to the kids as a whole and I understand that. But then she tells me that they aren't consistent with telling the kids to call him by his name. So I said that maybe there needs to be more consistency.
See, up to this point, I feel that I am just stating the fact that we said we were going to do things one way and it isn't getting done that way so we are just discussing how to resolve that. What I don't understand is that she is in total pissed off mode at this point.
Then she starts to tell me that I don't understand what goes on in their home and I said that no, I don't. I said it just seems to me from what she said that there isn't enough consistency with it, so maybe that is the key. Then she blows up at me and says "thanks for putting words in my mouth!" I was blown away! No one was upset, I was definitely not angry and now she's yelling at me! So, I said "I'm sorry, I must have misunderstood" and explained how I understood what she said and she told me I was wrong. So, even after she said herself that they were not consistent and I said that could help and she agreed, then 5 minutes later, she changed her mind. I didn't even point this out, I just blew it off and said sorry for misunderstanding. I told her I just was worried that my husband was going to come home and get his heart broken that his little girl doesn't really know who her Dad is. He doesn't have joint custody so he can only be as involved as his ex will allow him to be. They got divorced in Utah where custody is always given to the mother unless you can prove she has a drug problem or some other ailment that would make it so she is unable to care for the kids. So, even though we don't live there, we have to go off of that divorce decree until we can get enough money to go back and change it. Anyway, I apologized for her taking whatever I said the wrong way (not sure why I have to apologize for how SHE takes things, but this is the kind of person she is) and tried to move on. I said something about how I didn't want to beat the dead horse here, so I was just going to go help my stepdaughter change the book.
So, a few hours later she calls and wants to know what time the kids are going to be back at her place... uhh, same time as always? Weird...
Then, she calls 5 minutes after my husband drops them off (he hadn't even made it back home from their house which is about 3 miles away) and says she talked to my stepdaughter and my stepdaughter told her she wrote the book for both of her Dad's and says "I think that's sweet." In my mind, I'm thinking that is not at all what she told me. However, for the sake of dropping the whole stupid thing, I said "I think that's sweet, too." I'm wondering why she even called, because I wouldn't have bothered.
Then, about an hour later, she calls my husband and tells him she is emailing him something that she wants him to translate for her (he speaks a couple of foreign languages) and would he please look at it. He says sure, checks his email a little while later and gets a picture of the bottom of a clay figurine with some messed up writing that is hard to read... and an email about how we have no right to interfere with her house and that her stepdad is her Dad is a lot of ways because he is her stepDAD and how nothing is wrong with her loving her stepdad and blah, blah, blah. What the heck? It was never said that there was a problem with her loving her stepdad, the problem was that she was confused as to who was who.
This woman pisses me off. I am not an angry person, but her angry childish emails piss me off. Is she a child? Can she not communicate with her mouth? And why in the world would she just keep it going and going and going? She has to have the last word in everything, which to me is absolutely prideful and ridiculous. She claims to be this righteous person and she's all about church and things like that, and then in her email she writes "No longer speak to me of this matter" LOL is this the Bible? No longer speak to me of this!! LOL Wow... I am just not the kind of person to hold a grudge and she is obviously the opposite of that.
Ugh!!
