newshatto's Journal

So today I'm at 221... I'm afraid to even write that because I'm sure the weight will jump back up.  Do you know I've been in 220's all summer!  I know it is my own fault but it still hurts.  I know I'm not eating the right foods, or rathere I'm eating the right foods plus, some of the chips, wine, even sugar.  I hate to say it, but there are a lot of foods the doctor said I would never eat again, I do.  Sugar doesn't bother me, I don't eat it non stop but I'm sure that is one reason I haven't lost. 

Also there is still the fat chick that doesn't know what I'll do with myself when I'm below 200.  Do you know how long it has been before I was below 200?!  I think (not sure), it has been 23 years since I was below 200.  I don't know how to deal with that.  I don't know what clothes to wear, I don't know how to deal with things people say to me.  I hate all the attention of loosing the weight.  Maybe that is why I'm eating now, not good.  Instead of dealing with issues, i'm turning to food again and that is what got me here in the first place!

Well, I'm doing it, I'm going to keep going!

Next week I fly to TX, and I'm confident I will not need a seat belt extender!  That is a great feeling!