Journal

I haven't been on in over a week, and for that I'm sorry, but I have to say this.

I self harm in a very strange, pseudo pica way.

                                     -------- How I do it. --------

I peel the skin off my toes, heels, lips, fingers, and underneath my toenails.

But that's not the worst of it!

I take the peices of skin and chew on them.

And then I swallow them.

And I don't mind the taste!

It's not exactly delicious but it's not that unfortunate tasting.

I grind up the skin with my front teeth.

I also do that with my nails.

My feet are really damaged as a result of this, and the sad part is, I've gotten so used to the sight of my feet being so damaged, I don't really wan't for them to heal. I don't want to have normal looking feet.

I just got back and I have to say, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.

I got put on zoloft. I just took the first pill, and it's supposed to take three to four weeks to take complete effect. After seeing the woman and talking to her, I feel just a little bit better, but I still can't see a light at the end of the tunnel.

Maybe it will change, but I fear it will not.

Just hope that I get through this and I have the courage to talk about it.

Thanks so much for reading! ^-^