kate0783's Journal

So leaving off from my last journal... I was having an episode when I wrote that and when I go back and read it, it makes me sad. So after that happened I actually got a teaching job about a month later. I was scared to go to the interview because of my record but by the grace of God I was hired.  I was teaching in a bad town with horrible kids. I was physically hit three times, was told to f*** off almost every day and broke up at least fifty fights. It was crazy. I actually liked working with the bad kids but not trying to teach a class of 35 of them.( and i only had 28 desks.) My kids were always suspended and they thought it was a vacation:( They thought it was cool to gang bang and beat the hell out of others. That was one stressful year. I wanted to quit everyday but I somehow made it through. At the end of the year I was laid off with about fifty other teachers. I have been unemployed ever since. Wow now this is hard. I have had three interviews in the past week. And we are talking retail jobs. Anything for a paycheck. But I got denied because of my misdemeanor. If I can't even get hired at Walmart I really don't know what I am going to do. It is so scary. These unemployement checks are pitiful and I am going to lose my mind. I think my cat can't even wait for me to get back to work:) They are some programs out there to help ex offenders to get a job but I fall between the cracks because I have a degree, I wasn't in jail, and I don't have a felony. Life is a bitch right now so I am trying to find a good reason to stay here. I don't like life. It presents too many problems for me and I don't believe I am strong enough to get through it. Right now I wish I new Gods plans for me. I don't like the unknown and I don't want to be here. Thats enough for now...