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sherrytharp 
10:23pm, July 1, 2009
Well I guess God always seems to know better than I do. A few months ago i would of thought I would have been dying....heck I felt like it, sometimes I still do. However, God has another plan I think.
I go to the doctor and do my 3 week scans, scopes, blood work ups, MRI's, etc. Even had a biopsy on breast and mamogram. And what do you know I get called back in 2 days later about my stomach cancer. The doc pulls out 3 pics: 1 of a normal stomach, 1 of my stomach when they first found the cancer, and 1 of my stomach 3 weeks into chemo and radiation. What a difference. Now I am no doctor but even I could see the difference. It has to be the prayers.
I was starting to lose my faith I guess God wanted to show me that there was no need to.
I know I am not out of the woods yet, the doctor made that really clear to me. He said he wanted to take me off the chemo and just keep me on radiation and put me on a high dose of naltroxone starting out with injections then later putting me on oral form, and lowering the dose until I am on a stable dose which I guess i will stay on for life if need be (if 4 nothing else my MS and Lupus)...keeping my body (hopefully from attacking itself again.)
I also got another miracle, not a complete one but its something: My kidneys seem to be regenerating. They can't always explain it they say but my urologist says that b/c of my neropathy everything just backs up and causes shut down. So I will have to take injections right into my kidney for life, which are killer, but its worth it and I will have to wear a catherder that wraps around my leg, so no one can see it. I can take it in and out myself and I am still trying to get used to that...they found that my kidney was slightly detached so they are going to reattach it in 4 weeks when they do the surgery on my stomach to remove the spot where the cancer was.
I cant wait till this is all over, then maybe I can get back to focusing on trying to figure out how to live with the ever changing MS and Lupus in my body and maybe just maybe God can pull off a mirical for all of us who suffer with these too.
Comments
I am so sad and hurt today. Today is the first day I have cryed. I am so angry, about so much. I am on the edge and I am so close to giving up. I just dont know how much I can take. I am so tired of being sick and tired.
I thinks it time to get my final things ready. Just in case all these therapys dont work. I need to write notes to all my kids so they know how I really feel about them. Get the music together, all my last wishes together, my will, living will. It seems so mobid, but necessary. They say everyone should have these things in place, I have the will but should have it updated.
Im just so weak...so so so weak. Im not sure if anyone in my family really gets it or really cares. If they do they dure have a funny way of showing it.
Comments
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Sending a hug your way hon. Just try and take it one day at a time. This is hard on your family too, maybe they just dont know what to do or what to say, who really does at a time like this. I wish I had som answers for you. Just stay as strong as you can and know that we are all thinking of you.
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Praying things will get better for you...God be with you.Sending you a big hug.
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aw, i'm so sorry you are feeling this way.. but your allowed to have a day or two where you feel like this.. just do like gjet68 said, take one day at a time, don't give up yet.. too many people love you.. and i'm sure your family is scared and has no idea how to cope.. prayers going out for you and your family .. God Bless
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I agree with what everyone has said so far and I am praying for you and your family as well.
I think it's a good idea to prepare for the worst and hope for the best. Writing a letter to your kids sounds like a wonderful idea.
The "funny way of showing it" is very common. I am sure they don't really get it but I am also sure they really do care!
Best wishes and a hug,
God Bless you,
Sharon
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I agree with Sharon, "prepare for the worst and hope for the best!" I also think writing letters to each child or one to all of them, is a fantastic idea. It might be a good idea for other family members, too.
Their "funny way of showing it" is their fear, hurt and grieving for you. When people don't know what to do or say when someone they love is sick and hurting, they stay away. It usually doesn't occur to them what effect it had until it's too late.
I know you are so angry and tired of all of the sickness and the loss of control over your life. Try to understand that the ones you love do love you, they just don't know how to help!
Keep the faith! Rebecca
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Sherry, I so sympathize with you..Sad to say some families don't 'get it'. I've been to the edge, so to say and I've had to get my affairs in order... But,Thank GOD He spared my life over and over again. There is always HOPE, You my friend MUST keep the faith & hope ! Stay STRONG ! Please know we care about you,and you are in my thoughts & prayers. HUGS :)
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I understand the being so tired of being sick and tired. Please know that God loves you and he does not or did not intend on us to ever suffer the way we do. I don't know the answers as to why we do. All I know is when you are weak lean on us and maybe someday when I need to lean I can lean on you. I lean on God but remember he was not meant to be our crutch he was meant to be our everything
Well I get to go home today. Bitter sweet. The portable dialysis machine is in. A little sore. But the meds are helping. While in there and while looking over my old my old medical records from my stomach doctor they found some intersting news. They found news that I wasn't even made aware of. I have stomache cancer.
So they did some test be for they did the procedure and found tumors. So the biopsied them. They expidited the results and the doctors came in this morning and came in and told me the results:
I have stage 1B stomach gastric cancer which has spread to the middle muscularis layer of my stomach wall. They want to do a subtotal gastrectmasy which is a partial stomach removal and remove my spleen, but because of the my health issues and the fact this type of cancer tends to come back they want me to think about having a complete stomach removal, which I have a week to decide.
I will be having chemo and radiation. Along with immuno therapy. I guess the type of Chemo they are putting me on has been approved for the last couple of years after a couple of years of successful clinical trails. It is GM-CSF (Sargramostim, G-CSF (filgrastrim), IL-2 Strongest dose, and Anaiogenesis inhibitor which is the immunio therapy.
All my meds have changed now, and it is making me very sleepy, and sick. I am so glad I have nurse. She is really nice. Now if I could get a house keeper. LOL
What these autoimmune diseases wont try to do to your body.
But I am not going to give up yet. I love God and want to be with him one day but my kids need me and can't leave them yet. But even though I am going to be bald soon I will be bald and beautiful.
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oh my-- you have the strength of Jesus love in u, i can hear it in your words.. you are truly an inspiration and your kids are so lucky they have YOU to look up to.. dont ever give up, your right.. your kids do need you! many prayers going to you and your family i mean that!! who cares about going bald.. !!! right?!!! If it saves you from surgery and it helps and keeps you here.. who needs hair! my sister used to shave her head cuz she thought hair was a pain in the arse! LOL.. =) Don't ever lose that strong faith you have, it's amazing!
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Oh gosh hon, I am so sorry to hear that. I have just met you on here but you seem like such a sweet person from your posts and your pics that I have seen. Life just isnt fair sometimes is it? I too have Autoimmune Diseases and you just never know what is going to crop up next. I wish you all the strength you can muster and am sending hugs your way.
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You hang in there!!! Gods not thru with you!!! You and your family are in my prayers. You are truly a blessing!!! Your friend forever and a day, Barry
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Sherry, dont give up you still have alot of love to give for your hubby and children and to those grandbabies wow big family. My hair fell out because of lupus not chemo but for us women thats a hard thing to deal with or to except, I have a wig since thanksgiving, its not mine but it works for now. My prayers are with you God bless and peace be with you and family. Cindi
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PLEASE try the LDN-what have you got to lose? Go to Larry's site and watch the youtube links about it. I am not on it but if my MS gets worse, I will go on it. Don't you think it's worth a try?
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My goodness you make me feel like such a baby!! Well you don't I just feel like one because I have Lupus and Fibro but complain abt my pain at times and then God taps me on the head and shows me someone who is going thru so much more health problems than I am!! it sure reminds me to be thankful!!!!I am so sorry you are going thru so much, at one time too!!!! I pray God totally heals you or at least makes what you have to go thru as easy as possible for you!!! Praise HIS Holy name!!! Hugs!!! June (cbridges).
cbridges
Well good news at last. I hope you find the strength to make a good recovery after your surgery. Prayers and LOve Fran
fran22
Sherry what wonderful news. Yes it is all praise to God. You certainly are a testimony to his greatness. Through all things are truely possible and what is says about the power of pray.
kwilhelmina
i am so glad the dr gave you naltrexone--i think if anything will fix you that might be the one--ya might also want to check out--and ask your dr about pau d arco--but do not do pau darco on your own--repeat ask your dr about it--got a real good feeling about you now--prayers and hugs sherrya
sherryalton
You sound so positive, I wish I was more like you! I hope your surgery is ok. Good luck to you and god bless you.
joely35