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Requiem21 
I haven't written anything is a very long time.
I never have the time, or, what I actually write is so depressing, I can't handle my own words.
Steve is no better. He was better back in May then he is now.
This has just been some kind of demonic downward spiral that gets every single corner of your life and chews it up.
Steve just sits in his wheel chair at the rehab, and screams all of his waking hours. He has been doing this for months. They gave up on any kind of therapy, because he doe not cooperate and get violent. No one knows what to do. Their next step is to send him back to the hospital for electro shock therapy. Yeah, that horrifies me. I am wondering if they will want to do a lobotomy next.
This is nearly immposible to live with. I am crushed. I am broken. I am so very lonely. I have no one.
It is cold here in Maine, and the long winter has started, and I have no heat, because I can't afford fuel. I have chronic illnesses, but can't afford my medication, since they took my insurance away. I spend every dime I can get on gas to go and see Steve.
Really, the physical suffering is nothing. I would crawl naked across broken glass for 20 miles if it would make Steve get better, even a little bit better.
I pray all day and night long.
I have been through a lot in my life, more then most people have had to deal with, but this?
This is the most emotionally crippling thing that I have ever had to endure. It doesn't stop, it starts, everyday, the minute I wake up. Like a thousand razor knifes that cut into your soul.
The one person that you love, and trust, is not there anymore, it is some alien life form that came and took his body.
For the first time in my life, I am truely, alone.
