Join Now
carmenl 
10:45am, June 8, 2009
This past saturday was supposed to be a good day. My sister was visiting from NY and we were going to our familys' for lunch and then my dad was coming over later at night for a barbecue. Well as we were going to my family house my sister wanted coffee from starbucks, mind you I wont go through drivethrus because I will look at the persons hand and if I see a wart I will panic. I really didnt want to go, and I wasnt going to but I felt bad for my sister and decided to go. After I ordered the coffees I drove up to the window, I was cheery and I was doing good not looking at the girls' hand. But as she was handing me my coffee I accidentally looked at her hand and guess can you guess what I saw? Yep a freaking big wart. I immediately started to panic, couldn't breath, I felt like I was going to pass out. I had parked the car so I could recoup and tried to explain to my sister what happened and that I needed to go home and take a shower, I ended up taking 3 that day. My sister, not understanding my fear of contamination, got mad at me, started yelling at me that I was being selfish, that her trip was ruined and that thanks to me she is depressed. It got worse but I did end up going home taking a shower, my sister took a shower too but now the problem is that the drivers and passengers seat area, pretty much the whole front of the car is contaminated with the wart virus. And I know its irrational and stupid but I still feel that way.
I ended up having my stepmom come pick her up and she is currently staying at her house when she was supposed to be staying with me for 2 weeks.
I felt HORRIBLE for doing that to my sister! I still feel very sad about everything.
The good thing is my husband and family was very supportive and understanding, with the exception of one of my sister in law who sternly told me that I "must see a doctor because I cant even take care of my son so I need help". By the way I take very good care of my son, she has no clue to what she is saying. He is a beautiful sweet respectful boy so I must be doing something right.
Im still getting little anxiety attacks since saturday. I've been trying to go out and ocupy my mind, I even bought the OCD workbook yesterday. I think saturdays attack was the worst I've had.
It was just a bad day overall and Im very slowly getting over it. Once I dissinfect my car I'll have better peace of mind. (hopefully until something else comes along)
Comments
I understand completely how you feel here. Did you get the car cleaned? OCD is very timeconsuming, but it cant be helped in an instant and certainly wont be helped by someone shouting at you. Try not to feel too bad about it, you have an illness which is very complex and not easy to mentally deal with, can be very frustrating. Im sure she isnt too annoyed at you, I've had many arguments with family members cause of what I am going through.
Its great you got a book though, which one did you get? My counsellor has given me chapters out of a book to go through and I find them quite helpful. My mum says hers are too.
I think the comment your friend made wasn't a very nice one, and perhaps not very fair. You are right, if he is a sweet, respectful boy then you are definitely doing something right, good on you!
Hope to hear from you soon and how you are doing xxx
pinkprincesssa