hippylu's Journal

17 in 10 days... and what have I become...how have I grown?

an obsessive...pitiful, mound of waste

a hollow shell

a corpse leached of all form

...well

what a great thing

to be

when just a year away I'm on my own

how will I ever make it?
I don't know

..

but I'm determined to surrvive

I'm longing to thrive

I'm hoping to toss away

the school days

that color me flourescent

in awful yellow-tones

like a carrot-drinking

eye sore

I'm not going to let it hurt me

anymore

I'm not going to let them hurt me

anymore

I can be by myself

and be happy

I can be alone

and find solace

in the fact

that my bones

are thick

and my feet are wide

and my hands are spread

and filled with pride

for the pencils I bear down on

and crush with lust

pale-wrenching emotion

its easy to just

fall

and fall  and fall

and fall

and never open up

a fetus in a vacuum

frozen in freefall

never moving

wet and tearing

at the empty edges of space

well

I won't waste

away

I will taste

the day

I will give

away

my hope my dreams my love

to my seeds

my future kin

my beauty within

letting go of sin

on a whim

a natural spontaneity

that only I can concieve of

can birth

can un-earth

can breath

and seeth

and weep

and look back

with an incomprehensible

perception

recollection

surpassing all deception

resurection

I am born again.