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I hate being the pity case
I hate being hated
I spend so much hating that I can't see anything
I want to breathe
I feel like I'm choking, on expectations, on life, on my uncontrollable moods
I want to give up
UPDATED GOALS
Stop bingeing andstarving
Progress 100%
Encouragements: 1
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If its not one problem its another
I can't live like this
my mood swings are crazy and frightening
I can't live
being afraid of myself
I can't do it
UPDATED GOALS
Stop bingeing andstarving
Progress 60%
Encouragements: 1
Add your supportComments
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*hugs* yes u can live. have u gone to see a psychiatrist who can help prescribe certain medicines to help alleviate such moodswings? maybe go online and browse for a site that gives solutions or alternatives that can help these moodswings and problems be not as much of a hassle. *hugs* u were just about to explore life. =) are u will explore life...new foods? new places? new hobbies? new ppl?
17 in 10 days... and what have I become...how have I grown?
an obsessive...pitiful, mound of waste
a hollow shell
a corpse leached of all form
...well
what a great thing
to be
when just a year away I'm on my own
how will I ever make it?
I don't know
..
but I'm determined to surrvive
I'm longing to thrive
I'm hoping to toss away
the school days
that color me flourescent
in awful yellow-tones
like a carrot-drinking
eye sore
I'm not going to let it hurt me
anymore
I'm not going to let them hurt me
anymore
I can be by myself
and be happy
I can be alone
and find solace
in the fact
that my bones
are thick
and my feet are wide
and my hands are spread
and filled with pride
for the pencils I bear down on
and crush with lust
pale-wrenching emotion
its easy to just
fall
and fall and fall
and fall
and never open up
a fetus in a vacuum
frozen in freefall
never moving
wet and tearing
at the empty edges of space
well
I won't waste
away
I will taste
the day
I will give
away
my hope my dreams my love
to my seeds
my future kin
my beauty within
letting go of sin
on a whim
a natural spontaneity
that only I can concieve of
can birth
can un-earth
can breath
and seeth
and weep
and look back
with an incomprehensible
perception
recollection
surpassing all deception
resurection
I am born again.
Comments
Past Entries
| April 2009 |
Sunday, 4/05
|
Saturday, 4/04
|
Goal Updated
don't give up. its hard not to since it seems the easy way out. but like i said, use this upcoming summer break as the opportunity u need to explore life. explore new foods....read new books...watch the movie classics..check out the new park nearby or smth. if i didn't have school in the way..i would be doing these things. u have any friends who can go with you on these outings? =)
KSup
and high five for completing ur goal. =) *hugs* lets do a victory dance together then!
*victory dances* and...
*victory dances* teehee...
KSup
Open up!! What do you mean pity case? Who hates you? What are these expectations you're choking on?- about people?- about reward and success? What are these moods exactly? What do you mean they're unconteollable? What- you fly off the handle? Or do you experience emotion to the extreme? What are you telling us hippylu? Help us be there for you.
hangin0n