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hippylu
Female, 17, CO
"hello its me"
12:04pm, August 6, 2009

  • About Me

    Image of hippylu

    hippylu

    Female, 17
    CO, USA
    Member since March 30

  • Recent Activity

    Today

    November 1

    October 30

    • hippylu gave loyant a hug 8:49pm

      those SAT scores are crap...they show nothing of your writing ability, most colleges I know of don't…  

    October 29

  • Journal

    • Journal Entry for May 1, 2009

      Mood May 1, 2009 12:10am

      I hate being the pity case

      I hate being hated

      I spend so much hating that I can't see anything

      I want to breathe

      I feel like I'm choking, on …

    • Journal Entry for April 27, 2009

      Mood April 27, 2009 12:55pm

      If its not one problem its another

      I can't live like this

      my mood swings are crazy and frightening

      I can't live

      being afraid of myself

      I can't …

    • 17 in 10 days

      Mood April 14, 2009 8:14pm

      17 in 10 days... and what have I become...how have I grown?

      an obsessive...pitiful, mound of waste

      a hollow shell

      a corpse leached of all …

    • time is torturous

      Mood April 5, 2009 7:29pm

      I watch the clock..move so freaking fast...and still I have not done anything I'm supposed to do. What is wrong with me? why  can't I …

    • This entry is private

    Read Journal

  • Hugbook

    Give hippylu a hug



    • Hug

      From cheekygirl October 30

      no, i haven't read those books, i'll see if i can find them. im trying to stay strong!

      thank you so much for your reply

    • Hug

      From loyant October 30

      I totally agree with you :) Thanks for the hug.

    • Hug

      From lizzieM September 24

      Nice one xxx God bless xxx

    • I’m With You

      From Writer27 September 12

      I read your post in the high school stress forum. We're in the same boat right now, and I"m only a sophmore. Message me if you want to talk.

    • Hug

      From KSup August 28

      Hey! How are you? Haven't seen you on too much, so I'm hoping thats a sign that you're having more fun. :)

    Read Hugbook

  • Photos

    hippylu hasn’t uploaded any photos yet

  • Goals

    to make a friend

    Progress

    0 %

    Goal End Date is Jul 31, 09 100 days ago.
    Stop bingeing andstarving

    100%

    Goal Completed on May 1, 09

  • Support Groups

    • Close Depression - Teen

      I've been depressed for I don't know how long, probably 13. I'm 17 now. My family history is long and scary, riddled with mental illness. And I'm scared I'm going to turn into my father. I have meltdowns, almost every other day, and so my family has screamed and turned away from me. Its mostly about school, I can't deal with the stress...but that's another long story. I've been in and out of therapy since I was 6 years old, and its never worked.

      Treatments

      Art Not Working
      I can't draw..it makes me feel worse about myself, like I have no talents at all...I sometimes wish at night for hours I had some inherent fantastic talent that would make me worth somthing
      Meditation Considering
      I've tried meditation but I can't seem to get my mind to focus, I'm also doing yoga classes once a week (I just started)...this is the hardest thing I've tried..being alone in my mind.
      Music Somewhat Helpful
      A couple months ago, I would play my records and dance for hours every day....then school got in the way..and depression...I stopped doing everything. But it did make me feel better at the time.
      Pets Not Working
      I have a kitty, shes nice, but acts neurotic just like me. I've destroyed my cats mind by raising her as my own, she's just as insane/afraid as I am. I love her, but I figured out I have allergies so she can't stay in my room...my other pets have died, so that didn't help anything.
      Positive Thinking Somewhat Helpful
      this worked for me last year, I had about of month of happiness, but then because of my school situation it all came crashing down. I read self-helpy books all the time, it tends to work for about a day (the day I read it) but then it feels like my mind releases all the work I've been doing, or freaksout even more like a backlash.
      Psychotherapy Not Working
      I've been in and out of therapy since I was six, when I was little it helped me stop hitting people. But now, since I don't have any physical problems, its not working at all...in fact I feel like it exacerbates my problems.
      Support from Friends & Family Not Working
      My friends have supported me, but my family mostly just yells and is judgmental. But my friends don't know the worst of it, and I don't think I'll ever tell them
      Talking Not Working
      I vent to friends (the few I have), my mom...but I don't have many people to talk to...and it almost always makes me feel worse in the end, especially with my mom since we just fight afterward...always
      Writing Not Working
      I write all the time...but since my self-conciousness has leaked into every aspect of my life, I feel like every thing I write is horribly crappy, I end up getting exasperated...I don't understand because I used to write so well..but now its just a source of pain for me..of what I've lost

    • Close High School Stress

      I've had stess all my life...Latly it has been caused by school and perfectionism. I have intense breakdowns almost every other day and I have been missing days, I feel like I can't keep up...and in a way I don't ever want to.

      Treatments

      Psychotherapy Not Working
      I've been to therapy too many times to count...its never worked for me.
      Support from Friends & Family Not Working
      My mom recently tried to hospitalize me because I react so bad to stress latly...she's not very supportive, and I don't have many friends because I'm in a new school.

    • Open Teen Anxiety

      I've had social anxiety ever since I started Jr. High...and I tend to be anxious about everything, so much so that its started affecting my life in an extremeley detrimental fashion.

    • Open Acne

      hippylu hasn’t entered any details for this support group.

    • Open Stress Management

      hippylu hasn’t entered any details for this support group.

    • Open Loneliness

      hippylu hasn’t entered any details for this support group.

    • Open College Stress

      going to college next year...dear god

  • Groups

  • Friends

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