Started Hospice Group on Daily Strength
March 29, 2009 5:37pm
I recently began "working" as a hospice volunteer. This is something I've wanted to do ever since my Mother died from breast …
PeterGregory
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About Me
PeterGregory
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About Me
Some years ago I was my Mother's caretaker following a late stage diagnosis of breast cancer. As many caretakers can attest- those 18 months were both rewarding and exhausting. Unfortunately she didn't receive hospice care until just a few days before she died. A few years later my Father-in-law passed away from prostate cancer. He received hospice care up until his death. That care enabled him to remain and die at home. I was there with him for the last two weeks of his life and saw the difference it can make both for the individual and for their family. I now volunteer for a local hospice. I've noticed a number of questions about hospice care on this site. I think it's time to start a group where people can come and get answers to their questions about hospice care & End of Life issues, get support and share their experiences. Anyone interested in participating in such a group?
Some years ago I was my Mother's caretaker following a late stage diagnosis of breast cancer. As many caretakers can attest- those 18 months were both rewarding and exhausting. Unfortunately she didn't receive hospice care until just a few days before she died. A few years later my Father-in-law passed away from prostate cancer. He received hospice care up until his death. That care enabled him to remain and die at home. I was there with him for the last two weeks of his life and saw the difference
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Interests
Hospice & Palliative care, Ballroom dancing, Martial arts, Writing, Reading, Adult ADHD, Neuralplasticity, Adult Learning, Hiking/Camping- Yosemite and the Sierra Nevada CA
Hospice & Palliative care, Ballroom dancing, Martial arts, Writing, Reading, Adult ADHD, Neuralplasticity,
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Superhero Status
Care giving is hard. I had to do it with my Mother. She died Mothers Day 2004. Hope you are well.
Hug
absolutely you can share it. I'm no artist, so please go right ahead. I'll see if I can send it to you in an email and yes, I'll join the group.
High Five
Just passing by. Although, my mother is not in need of Hospice. I have had experiences with Hospice with my sister in-law and friends' family. I just would like to say Hospice is a wonderful support to families. As well as, having people like you to give their of themselves and energies to those in need. Good for you! Just don't forget about yourself. Take care!
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Hug
hi! Volunteering for Hospice hasn't happened yet. I had another tragic loss in Dec so I'm still not ready. I haven't removed it from my goal though ... still important in my life.
Hug
Many thanks for your lovely letter Peter. (My late brother was also called Peter so it feels nice writing to a 'Peter.') Your advice about getting help in is a great idea but the problem is that I do not live in the USA (live in SA) where there is nothing of that sort available for the elderly. My mom presently lives in an adjoining apartment block to where I live but all the signs are there that she can no longer do even the most basic things for herself even though I spend the greater parts of the day over there so the time has arrived for her to move in here with me. I would not be honest or human if I did not say that I am doing this with a certain amount of dread and trepidation. My mom is very much a control freak, my whole life, even though I have always been the one who was there to take care of her and my late father, to this day she has never complimented me once yet on having done something to her liking so it is going to be 'interesting' to see how we manage to find a middle road between us living under the same roof. I have noticed that her slight dementia since my dad's passing seems to have escalated quite a bit with the result that she always argues her point when the fact is that she is totally incorrect but I try to not turn it into an argument and just let it go or steer the conversation into a totally different subject. I can only hope that if one day I am 88 years old, somewhat senile, a whole lot 'cranky' and physically very frail that someone will still want to take care of me and not just abandon me. But then I have already made the move of putting my name onto the list of a private, not too expensive old care facility of which there are very few in this country and all I will have to do is to keep on filling in a new form, once a year that I wish to stay on the list for *one day* when I might need it. Right now the waiting list at this particular place is 11 years so if I do not offer my mom a place to park her slippers, she would literally have no where at all to go. Thanks so much for your feedback, any hints and tips in this kind of scenario is always most welcome. xoxoxoxo
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Support Groups
Close Caregivers
I'm a hospice volunteer. Got interested in this following the death of my Mother and Father-in-law. I was my Mother's caretaker for 18 months. Wish I had had the support then that people have here today. In any case, hospice services still are not well understood and people (families & their loved ones) often have misconceptions of why or when those services are appropriate. That's why I started the hospice support group.
Close Bereavement
Type: Loss of a ParentMy Mother passed away from breast cancer. I was her caretaker for 18 months. She lived in my home for that time up until 4 days. Her doctor didn't certify her for hospice care until then. I wouldn't change that but caring for her was exhausting physically and emotionally. It took me a very long time to get over it. Worst thing is it didn't have to be that way. Today I'm a hospice volunteer. I started the hospice support group on this site so that others can get the help they need.
Treatments
- Crying Somewhat Helpful
- All the tears, did they help? Not as much as other things I've done. But...it's not as if I had any choice. The tears flowed on their own.
- Grief Counseling Working / Worked
- Used the Grief Recovery Handbook from the Grief Recovery Institute. Found that to be the most helpful of any of the psych/counselling activities.
- Helping Others Working / Worked
- It's helped transform my pain and loss into something beneficial for others.
- Pets Working / Worked
- A wonderful golden retriever broke through the walls I'd grown around my heart. The pain of losing her to cancer too has taken me 3 years to recover from.
- Psychotherapy Somewhat Helpful
- Support from Friends & Family Somewhat Helpful
Open Depression
I've experienced depression since childhood, now 50. Cared for my Mother for 18 months while she struggled from breast cancer that was initially misdiagnosed and when finally diagnosed properly, was stage 4. Being a caretaker w/o outside support was exhausting for my wife & I. Since then I've volunteered for hospice to support both those dying and their friends & family. Hopefully the help you can get will lighten your own depression.
Treatments
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Somewhat Helpful
- Meditation Somewhat Helpful
- Positive Thinking Not Working
- Psychotherapy Somewhat Helpful
Open Caring For Aging Parents
I was my Mother's caretaker for 18 months while she was ill from breast cancer. It was initially misdiagnosed and once correctly diagnosed, it was very late stage 3/4. I wouldn't change helping her for anything. However, I wish I'd had the support then that is more common now. I wish we'd gotten her hospice care to make her last months more comfortable for her at home. I now volunteer for a hospice in LA and also just started the Hospice support group.
Open Osteoporosis
Cared for my Mother & Father-in-law while they passed away from cancer. Now volunteer for hospice.
Open Empty Nests
I cared for my Mother and Father-in-law as each passed away from cancer. I now volunteer for a hospice in LA and founded the hospice support group here on Daily Strength
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