desikitteh's Journal

i apologise if this post is full of typoes, i keep bursting into tears and i have another window over the top of part of this as one of my bf's ihas turned his webcam on so i can watching  him.

if i have the energy after i've written this, i'll go back and fix the worest ones, but i dounbt i'll have the energy for it.

(note: only a couple more lines are blocked by the window.) i'll admit that i'm not taking any of my medication at the moment, but i doubt anything would help do any more than thake the edge off of this. i'm in pain all over, depressed, dizzier than i've every been. i can't focus on anything, can't remember what i'm doing half the time, eating is a battle, not eating feels wrong. asthma is playing up, and i think i'm getting a cold. i can't sleep properly at night, i can't sleep properly during the day. even using the cpap, i wake up feeling like i haven't slept. then again i don't manage to get to sleep till i'm so exhausted i want to drop, and then sleep most of the day, getting no benefit from it.

if i can focus after i've eaten (there's food in the oven cooking atm) i'll set up my meds so i can start taking them again, but i don't know if i really believe they'll help any.

i'm tired of feeling like this.